Pre-Marital Counselling

Clearing her old files, the Swallow came across a collection of six paper clippings.  Each of these clippings were a test of some sort, with questions on them, some more than others.  They brought back sweet memories.

When the Swallow and her mate had first considered marriage, they were strongly encouraged to attend pre-marital counselling.  Together with another two couples who were also getting married around the same time, they had to take a 'test' each week.  Without letting their partner see, each individual had to write their answer down.  When the answers were revealed, each couple was able to see how well they knew each other.

Did the Swallow fare well?  Nope!  Many wrong answers...there was much laughter for she was not alone. The marriage counsellor had been quick to point out that getting all the answers right does not mean the marriage would be better.  It was more important to be committed to the relationship, and to have the Lord God as the center of the relationship.

TEST 1
a) What is the favourite pastime of your partner?
b) What is your favourite pastime?
c) List five things liked and three things disliked by your partner.
d) List five things you like and three things you dislike.

TEST 2
a) What was your partner's best moment before you met?
b) What was your best moment before you met your partner?
c) List three things you like your partner to do more often.
d) List three things you think your partner likes you to do more often.

TEST 3
a) What one thing you have done most annoy your partner?
b) What one thing your partner has done most annoy you?
c) List three things your partner does that please you.
d) List three things you do which please your partner.

TEST 4
a) What are the favourite scriptural verses of your partner?
b) What are your favourite scriptural verses?
c) In what three ways do you like your partner to let you know you are appreciated?
d) List three ways in which your partner likes you to let him / her know that he / she is appreciated.

TEST 5
a) List three expectations you have of your partner in your marriage relationship.
b) List three expectations your partner will have of you in the marriage relationship.

TEST 6
List two of your happiest memories in your relationship since you met.

Now as she looks at the questions again, she wonders if her answers would be any different from the last time she took the tests...

The LORD Will Provide

Men can plan, but the Lord is in control.  This was the Swallow's constant thought when she was tasked with the challenge of coordinating the Children's Program for her church's special event last night.

The Swallow had often wondered what were Abraham's thoughts and feelings when the LORD God had told him to sacrifice his son, Isaac.  What had then been in his heart when at the point he was prepared to obey, when "he stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son, the Angel of the LORD called to him from heaven and said, "Abraham, Abraham!"" (Genesis 22 : 10 - 11a, NKJV)?

Was it, "What's next?" with an exasperation?  The Swallow doesn't think so, for the Bible records, "So he said, "Here I am."  Readiness.  Waiting for the next direction.  At rest.

And He said, "Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son from Me."  Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in a thicket by its horns. So Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up for a burnt offering instead of his son.  And Abraham called the name of the place, The-LORD-Will-Provide; as it is said to this day, "In the Mount of the LORD it shall be provided." (Genesis 22 : 11b - 14, NKJV)

The weeks prior to the special event were challenging.  The Swallow had no idea where to begin. There had been no such preceding event that she could refer to, but the Lord provided when fellow church workers, whom she had approached, gave ideas and help support, and finally, the day of the event arrived.

Three hours before the event, after a quick lunch, she and her family were still trying to get home from church.  She was starting to feel a little anxious.  Waiting in line behind a young man for a taxi for a very long time (where were the taxis?), then having an arriving taxi hijacked by another family who did not bother to check if anyone else was waiting for it, brought no respite to her anxiety. Crying out to the Lord for two taxis (the other for the young man in front of them who must have been feeling frustrated too), her heart was lifted when she saw not one, not two, but three empty taxis come by at the same time!  The Lord will provide!

While working on the powerpoint slideshow presentation the night before, her computer had restarted itself many times and her work had not been saved in time.  She had to redo the work, and save the newer material constantly after that.  Working late into the night, she had wondered if the inserted short movie clips had caused her computer to auto-restart.  The next morning, she had decided to remove the movie clips and replace them with more photos instead.  Reaching home later in the day, the computer was then her goal. With a quick prayer for guidance, she removed the movie clips and did a run through.  The slideshow reached the end without any hiccups.  "That's good", was her grateful thought.  Now to add the new photos. "That went well too, but the presentation was so boring.  If I feel this way about it, how would the children feel?" became a nagging thought.  A little background music would have made such a difference, but she didn't know how to add the music. She had tried unsuccessfully so many times the night before, but there was now not enough time to ask anyone else for help.  Getting desperate, she could only cry to her Lord for help, again.  Giving a last look at the task bar, she tried to add the music again. A while later, she did a final run through,  and "Yes!  The presentation was ready."  Looking at the clock, she jumped.  4.15pm, and she had asked all the helpers to be back in church at 4.45pm!   "Lord, if we are going to reach church in time, we will need to get a taxi really quickly." was her prayer.  Waiting at the roadside, her heart was again lifted for she saw her Lord's faithfulness - two taxis!  She reached church at exactly 4.45pm...  The Lord will provide!

An sms came a short while later from one of the helper's wife.  Her husband had been on his way to church but had to turn back as he was feeling feverish and achy.  His young ones were also not well. Days before, a few other helpers had had to pull out as well as they were either helping in other areas of the event, or they had family commitments.  The helper's wife had apologize for her husbands's last minute pull-out, but the Swallow, having experienced the Lord's providence several times within the last few hours, was confident that the Lord would provide, and reassured her.  This event was for the Lord's glory.  He will not fail them.

And it was so.  Within minutes upon receiving the sms, several people had stepped forward and asked the Swallow if she needed help.  Looking back, the number of people that had stepped forward at the last minute were more than those that had to pull out.  The LORD will provide!

He is Jehovah Jireh, and He gives more than what His people ask for - in His name, for His glory!

Faltering Steps

Ever been given the bad end of a deal?

Ever feel that it is in your right to insist on the necessary services because you have already paid for them?

Some weeks before Easter this year, the Swallow's mate had had to travel to Malaysia on a work assignment.  Unlike past work travels, this time he had been given a room in a budget hotel.  Initially thought to be situated near her parents' home, the Swallow had been happy that her mate could consider dropping by sometime to say hello to them.

Upon her mate's arrival in Malaysia, he realized that he had been given the wrong location.  The hotel was much further away from her parents' home, although it was closer to the Swallow's sibling's home. "Not too bad", the Swallow had thought, "he just needs to be given a ride to dad and mom's place." She had been sure that her sibling and sibling-in-law would be willing to bring him back to the hotel on their way home, and she had not been disappointed.

Calling her from the hotel when he had finally checked in, her mate, with humour in his voice, had described the condition of the room.  There was ample evidence that the housekeeping team had not done a proper job in the toilet.   Sounds from pedestrians walking past the hotel (situated along a row of shophouses) easily travelled through the thin walls from the outside.  The Swallow was indignant.  How could her mate be given such a place to sleep in?  How was her mate going to get a good night's rest and be able to work well the next day?  Already missing her mate, she struggled to feel as cheerful as he was.

Many times that night, she asked her Lord for help to conquer the negative feelings within her.

The next day, the Swallow's mate managed to work in a visit to her parents' home.  Connecting over Skype during the visit, the Swallow and her young ones were able to chat with her mate and the rest of the family.  She quickly found out that her mother was having a fever, and her limbs were too weak for her to stand upright.  Two days later, in the early hours of a Thursday morning, the Swallow received a call from the sibling whose home was close to her parents'.  Her mother had woken up disoriented, and was not her normal self.  She needed urgent medical attention, but her sibling was unsure of what had to be done.  Praying for wisdom, the thought of her mate being at the hotel close to her siblings' home came.  The Swallow contacted her mate, and informed him of her sibling's call.  An arrangement was made for him to accompany her sibling-in-law to her parents' home, and thereafter to the hospital.  This would allow her sibling to stay at home with her young one.

When the call was disconnected, the Swallow was filled with a sense of shame.  How could she have forgotten?  Her Lord was and is always in control.  So many times He had proven Himself faithful and caring, yet because of a little discomfort (and not even suffered by her!), the Swallow had questioned...

The Swallow had thought her mate had been given the bad end of a deal.  She had felt that it was in his right to insist on good accommodation during his work travels.  But her Heavenly Master knew what would have been ahead of them.  If her mate had been housed in the usual hotel, it would have been difficult for him to give his support in the middle of the night.

Her mother stayed in the hospital for almost a week.  During the stay, the doctors had run many tests and although it was not until a week after her discharge that the doctors realized that she had dengue fever, they were able to diagnose other minor ailments which could be treated.  Just a day after her discharge, the Swallow and her family were also able to fly back for a quick surprise visit over the Easter weekend.  They could see how weak her mother was, but they were comforted that the Lord had made the way smooth for them to fly back for a visit, and even at a lower cost than anticipated.

Mark 4 : 35 - 41 (NIV)

That day when evening came, He said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side."  Leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as He was, in the boat. There were also other boats with Him.  A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"  He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.  He said to His disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"  They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!"

The Swallow is still learning to trust without wavering in her Heavenly Master.  With faltering steps of faith, the Swallow will continue to lean on His strength to accept graciously the little discomforts in life, and the unknowns in life.  Easier said than done, right?  She has failed so often....but she will press on - looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of her faith.

How Do We Speak?

What does the Swallow do when she is at the receiving end of a conversation that bordered on scorn? Does she react with gentleness?  Meekness?  Or retaliate in kind?

An eye for an eye?  Or turn the other cheek?

In such a situation today with a Christian friend, it was difficult for her to hold her tongue. Defending herself from the harsh words was foremost in her thoughts.  It was difficult to walk away without feeling hurt or offended.


It is not easy to be like Jesus.  How did He remain silent among the scornful crowd?  How did He 'opened not His mouth'?

Isaiah 53 : 7 (NKJV)
He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so He opened not His mouth.

Mulling over the incident later in the night, the Swallow was reminded that Christians are not perfect.  She remembered the many times when she had been the one who had spoken out of turn.  When the coin was on the other side.

1 Peter 2 : 1 - 5 (NKJV)
Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.  Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

HOW DO WE SPEAK? by jadeswallow

An encouraging word lifts the heart
Bridges the gap when we're apart
But words of scorn build higher walls
Tears may fall, or friendship stalls
Is this how we speak to our family and friends?
With words that seem like a slap of the hand?
With words that hurt, or words that tear
Or words that are sometimes hard to bear?

How sad it is, when a Christian speaks
And we do not see a heart that is meek
Instead there is pride, and a haughty tone
Is this what it is to be a living stone?
To be like Jesus, to be like Him
We tell the world that we love Him
Yet in our speech - is there kindness and love?
Seasoned with grace from the Father above?

It was a humbling reminder.  "Help me, Lord, to be like You."

Kimchi

Some time last year, the Swallow, her mate and several friends went to visit a Korean friend and his wife.  At their home, they were served several Korean dishes.  The Korean friend also gave a demonstration on making Kimchi.  Not a fan since the first time she had tried Kimchi, the Swallow was hesitant to try again. However, after tasting the version the Korean friend had made, she loved it.  An acquired taste maybe, but the Korean friend pointed out that it could have been because he had tweaked the original recipe after taking in his Singaporean wife's local taste.

When the Swallow was pressed later to bring some home for one of her young ones who was not able to attend, she did so although her young one did not like wongbok, a key ingredient in Kimchi.  After her young one had his first taste of Kimchi that night, everytime the Swallow's family ate out, he would go looking for any dish with Kimchi in it.  From that night too, wongbok was no longer on his list of 'Don't Like To Eat'.

In early December last year, the Swallow attempted with this young one to make Kimchi loosely based on her Korean friend's recipe. 'Loosely based' because the Korean friend had insisted that as everyone's taste was different, there was a need to experiment.  This is the Swallow's version...

Kimchi

KIMCHI

Ingredients

1 head of wongbok, about 800g
Salt solution, made up of 1 cup of salt to 10 cups of water
1 small radish, about 400g
1 tbsp white sesame seed
3/4 cup chilli powder / flakes
10 cloves garlic
1/2 cup sugar
2 spring onions, cut into 3cm strips (optional)

With carrots instead of radish

Spring onion makes a difference!

Method

1. Cut off the ends of the wongbok. Split the leaves away from each other. Discard any blemished pieces. Rinse the leaves and drain them. Cut the leaves into 1-inch sized pieces. Using a large basin, soak the leaves in the salt solution, enough to cover the leaves till 3/4 depth. Cover the basin with a piece of cling-wrap. Set aside, but turn the leaves occasionally. The leaves will be totally submerged in the salt solution over time.
2. After several hours, pinch a piece of wongbok in your hands. If it bends without breaking, the leaves are ready. Pour away the salt solution. Rinse and drain the leaves. Squeeze out any excess moisture and set the leaves aside.
3. Cut the radish into quarters, then slice finely.  Set aside with the wongbok leaves.
4. Using a small frying pan, toast the sesame seeds gently over a low heat until they are lightly browned and aromatic.
5. Smash the garlic cloves with the blade of a knife and remove the skin.  Using a mortar and pestle, pound the garlic till fine.
6. Prepare the sauce by mixing the toasted sesame seeds, garlic, chilli powder and sugar together.  Mix the sauce, wongbok leaves, radish and spring onions (optional) together thoroughly with your hands, using a pair of disposable gloves.  Cover the Kimchi with a piece of cling-wrap, allowing it to rest for several hours.
7. Transfer the Kimchi into a clean glass container.  Keep the Kimchi in the refrigerator, overnight at least, before serving it cold.

Notes

• If  a mortar and pestle is not available, the garlic may be finely minced.
• Experiment with oyster sauce or cincaluk for a fusion taste.
• 3 thumb-sized pieces of ginger, pounded, may also be added for even more kick!
• According to the Korean friend, Kimchi can be kept in the refrigerator for several months.
• Kimchi can also be used to make Kimchi Noodles Soup or Kimchi Fried Rice.

A Journey of Faith

The year 2013 started a little different for the Swallow and her mate.  One of their young ones was testing his wings in Nepal.  Seeing him and his mission exposure team members off at the airport several days ago, the Swallow and her mate were grateful for the opportunity that had been given to their young one.  Yet... What would be ahead for him?

Their other young one began a school year with most things new - school, teachers, friends, uniform and books.  Not one who took well to new things, the Swallow's young one could hardly sleep last night, but their Heavenly Father was loving, and heeded their prayers.  Sleep came swiftly for the young one soon after.  Yet... What would be ahead for her?

Both their young ones are testing their wings.  One a little nearer the nest.  The other going on longer flights.  Soon they will be flying further and further, longer and longer.  Will their young ones continue their flight in the right direction?  What would be ahead for the Swallow and her mate?

They could only voice their fears to their loving Heavenly Father, and keep flying themselves.  It would be a journey of faith for all of them.

Psalm 101 : 6 (NKJV)
My eyes shall be on the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me; he who walks in a perfect way, he shall serve me.

Matthew 25 : 23 (NKJV)
His lord said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.'

A JOURNEY OF FAITH by jadeswallow

There they go -
What is ahead, they do not know
But hand in hand along the path
They look ahead, with eyes of faith
And as they walk, they know they're loved
By their Heavenly Father up above
So on they go, to journey's end
Then there, before the Throne, they'll stand
To hear the loving voice announce
"Well done, good and faithful one."