Goodbye 2010

2010 is at an end.  This year brought many fresh challenges.  Some of these were met with excitement and zeal, and some were met with delight and joy, while the rest of them was met with trepidation but with big doses of grace from the Lord Jesus Christ.

Through all these challenges, the Swallow hopes that she would have been more like the Lord Jesus Christ.

Tomorrow will usher in a new year and a new decade.  What will 2011 bring?  Whatever challenges it brings, she is confident that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her.

JESUS, TAKE ME AS I AM (author unknown)

Jesus, take me as I am
I can come no other way
Take me deeper into You
Make my flesh life melt away
Make me like a precious stone
Crystal clear and finely honed
Life of Jesus shining through
Giving glory back to you.

Are We There Yet?

Tomorrow night, at the first stroke of midnight, the first decade of this century will be over.  Years before the start of this century, many were anxious over the Y2K bug, anticipating the disasters it would unleash.  Now, over ten years later, it is old news.  Memories of years past.

On Monday, while in Malaysia, the Swallow's family joined her extended family for a meal.  Not knowing where the restaurant was, the journey to that location seemed long and the road seemed to stretch a long distance.  From her parents' home, journeying on past her sibling's home where she was staying while in Malaysia, then on to the restaurant, the distance was keenly felt.

On the other hand, although the Swallow's journey back to Singapore took her more than five hours, it did not seem as long.  The hours simply flew by because the Swallow was going home.

How does one measure time?  One minute is only sixty seconds, but ask a person to wait a minute and he will feel like he has been waiting for a long time.  On the road, if one does not move when the light is green, even if it is only for one or two seconds, more often than not he can be sure to hear honks from the cars behind him.

So what is ten years?  Looking forward, ten years seem like a long time.  Now looking back at the past decade, ten years seem to have flown past and quickly too.

At the start, a journey always seems longer than when one looks back, right?  Especially when one does not know his destination.  Or the estimated time of arrival.  Just ask little children when they travel.  Not knowing his parents' plans, "Are we there yet?" is commonly-asked question.

Although the Swallow knows where her final destination will be, she does not know at which point of the journey she is at.  Thus, at this point when year 2010 leaves and year 2011 arrives, the Swallow is, like a little child, asking her heavenly Father "Are we there yet?".

Jeremiah 29 : 11 - 13 (NIV)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart."

She may not know her heavenly Father's plans for her, but the Swallow has no fear of the future because He knows!

Time to Go Home

It's time to go home.  After being back in Malaysia for the past week or so, the Swallow and her family are looking forward to their return to Singapore.  No matter how enjoyable a holiday, no matter how precious a time it is for a reunion with loved ones, there is no place like one's own home.

It's time to go home.  Time to bid farewell until the next reunion.  Time to return to the hustle and bustle of life.  Time to put one's hands back into the daily grind.

It's time to go home because all in the family miss their beds...

An Introduction to Christmas

The Swallow's first Christmas experience was when she was at a school-going age.  The Swallow's Ah Mah had brought her to stay overnight with one of Ah Mah's sisters.  Not long after dropping off to sleep, her Ah Mah woke her up.  Realizing that everyone in the house was awake as well, the Swallow got out of bed and saw that it was just past midnight.  A sense of excitement and wonder filled her.

The Swallow's eyes darted here and there as she watched the adults hurrying around her, busy with some food preparation.  The Swallow thought, "Food preparation?  In the middle of the night?  What was going to happen?"

Suddenly, the adults stopped all that they were doing and gathered near the entrance to the house.  Then Ah Mah told the Swallow to sit on the staircase to the upper storey so that she could see better.  Again the Swallow thought, "What was she going to see?"

Everyone hushed.  The Swallow hushed as well.

Then music filled the air.  Quiet music that streamed through the doors.  Sweet music that told of the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Ah Mah had, by then, brought the Swallow to Sunday School, and she had heard many stories of the Lord Jesus.  There were stories of the first Christmas ever.  There were stories of the wonders and miracles the Lord Jesus had performed while He was on earth.  There were also stories of traditions that some Christians observe when they celebrate Christmas.  The Swallow was filled with delight when she realised that she had been given a chance to observe one such tradition - listening to some Christmas carolers.

After the carolers had left, the Swallow went back to bed.  Lying in bed, she thought again of all that had happened that special night.  She remembered the joy she had seen reflected in the carolers' faces as they sang with all their hearts.  Just before dropping off to sleep (again), she wished with all her heart that she would have a chance to be a caroler too!

Real Reason for Christmas

What is Christmas all about?

It is about love - God's love for men.
It is about sacrificial giving - the Lord God giving to men the most precious gift on earth.
It is about reconciliation - men with God.

Christmas is about CHRIST, My All Sufficient!

WE ARE THE REASON (sang by Avalon)

As little children, we would dream of Christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys we knew we'd find
But we never realised a Baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives.

We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost, He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live.

As the years went by, we learnt more about gifts
The giving of ourselves, and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day, a Man hung crying in the rain
Because of love, all because of love...

We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost, He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live.

I'd finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do, every word that I say
I'd be giving my all just for Him, for Him...

We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and die
To a world that was lost, He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
He is my reason to live.

Don’t you know?
Do you know the reason that He came?
O He came to save us.
When He gave His life for us
He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave everything
Everything to show us the reason to live...!

Looking Forward to Christmas

The Swallow and her family are back in Malaysia to spend Christmas with her parents and siblings.  Classified as an 'annual retreat' (or almost an annual one), it is a holiday that everyone in the family as well as the extended family looks forward too for several reasons, one of which is the time to gather together to remember what Christmas is all about.

It is also a time to spend in church with fellow believers on Christmas Day, a time to exchange gifts with one another, a time to sing Christmas carols written by men of old detailing the time of old, and most importantly, a time to read God's word about the first Christmas ever and the prophesies foretold even before that time.

Isaiah 9 : 6 (NKJV)
For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wondeful, Counsellor,
Mighty God,
Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace.

The Swallow is looking forward to Christmas.  Amidst the hustle and bustle of life, it is a time to remember and rejoice that her Lord God loves her (and the world) so much that He gave to men a very precious gift in the form of His beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, as the answer to take away the gulf that exists between God and men because of sin.

May all remember the real reason for Christmas!

Understanding Genuine Love in Marriage

In the second session of "Better Homes & Marriages with the 5 Love Languages", this topic and that of "Overcoming Selfishness in the Marriage Relationship" were looked into.

What is genuine love?  What does the husband mean when he says, "I love my wife"?  What does the wife mean when she says, " I love my husband"?  What is love?  Can one fall in and out of love?  What happens when one does not love anymore?

In his first video session of the Five Love Languages titled "Learning to Speak Love", Gary Chapman says, "Love is the most important word in the English language", but he also says, "Love is the most confusing word in the English language".   How?  "I love hotdogs", "I love my mother".  Same word but there should be a difference.

The Greek language uses several words to express the differences

• Eros - physical love
• Phileo - brotherly love
• Agape - sacrificial / self-giving love

1 Corinthians 13 is the well-known passage of love for believers in Christ.  It describes what love is and what love is not.  It describes what sacrificial and self-giving love is.  It describes the agape love.

In the Word of God, the word 'love' is most often used as a verb, meaning it is something to be done, rather than something to be felt.  Loving one's enemies (see Matthew 5 :44) is not based on feelings.  The command is addressed to the will of man, not to his emotions.  The Lord Jesus Christ summed up the Ten Commandments into just two - to love the Lord God, and to love others.  There is no 'to love self'.

Ephesians 5 : 25 (NKJV)
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.

Ephesians 5 : 24 (NKJV)
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5 : 33 (NKJV)
Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Husbands may not feel like loving their wives.  Wives may not feel like submitting to her husband, or they may not feel like respecting their husbands.

It is said that men and women have different interpretation of love in marriage, most likely because of differences in their basic nature or disposition.  Usually, husbands recognize love as "cooking meals they like, keeping an orderly house, maintaining a neat appearance, refraining from arguments / nagging, and cooperation".  For the wives, they see love as being shown affection (not only physically), being appreciated, not being taken for granted or being seen as someone useful around the house.

Does the wife have a tendency to criticize or belittle her husband, especially before others?  Does she see him simply as someone who 'brings home the bacon' or helps around the house.  Does the husband have a tendency to be overly critical, harsh or indifferent?  Does he often ignore the wife unless he wants something in return?

More often than not, husbands want their wives' encouragement and support.  Wives want to be cherished by their husbands.  They also long for their husbands to talk more with them, especially about personal things.

Some checkpoints the Swallow and her coursemates were asked to consider

• Is your love primarily directed to benefit the other person in a constructive way or is it selfish, just to benefit yourself?
• Does your love clearly show evidence of personal sacrifice (not just about money)?
• Are you committed to work daily at improving the expression of love toward your spouse or is it 'NATO' (no action, talk only)?
• Are you willing to forgive your spouse for the wrong he / she may have done towards you ie put aside the rehashing of things that cannot be undone now?

To love one another in marriage, in the agape way, can only be done with God's power.  It is He who enables those who yield themselves to His will and who want to please Him.  It is to know the sacrificial love of the Lord Jesus Christ for us and to be motivated by this same love.  Otherwise, it may be in vain.

Around the Campfire

In the Swallow's mid-teen years, she was given the opportunity to go camping with a few of her Sunday School teachers and friends.  It was her first and most memorable campfire through the years.

It was a great delight when her parents finally gave their approval for her to go for the camping as it would be held over several days on the beach.  Thoughts of staying up late into the night under a moonlit sky with twinkling stars glowing up above, whispering stories, ghostly or otherwise, with her friends, roasting chestnuts on an open fire (okay, okay, there were no chestnuts, just an open fire)...it was a dream come true!

When she was finally on the beach, reality struck.  True, there was the open fire and the moonlit sky with its starry hosts but there was also the strong afternoon sun beating down upon her back, giving no relief unless she was under the trees.  There were times when she had sat around the campfire and shared laughter and stories with her friends, but there were also times when she had to huddle in the tent when heavy rains fell.  Yes, the Swallow did complain about the hot sun.  Yes, she did mutter about the heavy rains when she was sitting in the stuffy tent with nothing else to do except listen to the rain pitter-patter-ing against the external walls of the tent.

However, when she looks back on her memories, it is with a smile on her face.  For she remembers valiantly offering to stay up late for guard duty only to find herself falling asleep instead.  She remembers seeing the astonishment on her friends' faces (and hers - so her friends said) when they realised that there was also sand in their food, with compliments from the wind and the beach.  She remembers the horror they initially felt when they had to scrub the pots they had used with the sand from the beach.  She remembers the campfire stories and the secrets they had whispered to each other with the promise of silence.  She remembers the games they had played on the beach and in the sea.

If she is able to turn back the clock and is given the chance to make a fresh decision with the knowledge she now has, the Swallow will choose to go through the campfire experience again (although with thankfulness instead of complaints) because life is made up of dreams and the living of such dreams.  Life is when dreams and reality collide, and the adventure begins.

The Young Ones

Until the young ones leave the nest, the Swallow and her mate have to be on stand-by 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Translated, it means a demanding and challenging task. Yet the Swallow and her mate would testify that it is also a rewarding task. The reward comes when they see their young ones go on to maturity and grow to love the Lord God.

Hebrews 6 : 1 (NIV)
...let us go on to maturity...

As mentioned in the Swallow's blog "Passing the Baton", raising her young ones is a fine balance between love and fear of authority.  When her young ones question her and her mate's decisions, it is important that the young ones understand that though their parents will listen to their opinions, ultimately the decision will be made by their parents.

Such was the case when it came to choosing a pet.  The young ones have, on numerous occasions, raised their need for a pet or two.  However, their ideas of having a pet is because "they are so cute"...  Their parents have other ideas..."pets = maintenance = work".  Also, fur-allergy runs in the family.  As a compromise,  the parents put up their criteria for pets

• non-furry creatures
• minimal attention required
• low or minimal maintenance

How glad the parents were when their young ones understood their reasons for disallowing most of the pet choices, but finally saying yes to one of them.

The choice agreeable on both sides?  Fish!

Passing the Baton

As any hands-on parent will be quick to admit, it is not an easy road when it comes to raising children.  When he is born, the child looks so innocent and adorable, and he is fully dependent on his parents.  At that point in the parents' lives, it is difficult to imagine that this same child will change over the years to become more and more independent.  His sinful behaviour will be more and more pronounced, and if not nipped in the bud, will bring despair and heartbreak to the parents.

During the first year, there are so many milestones that he will reach.  For the parents who are heavily involved in the bringing-up of the child, it is a joy when they see him grow.  Each milestone crossed is a celebration of life.  And yet, when they see the child test the boundaries given to him, it is also a time of discipline and this may be a time of contention and sorrow.

Yes, there is a balance to parenting.  On one side of the balance is love.  The child must be loved and he must feel loved.  On the other side is the fear of authority.  This fear is not the fear that will drive the child away from abusive parents but fear that makes the child ultimately realise that there is a higher authority than his parents - One who loves him yet demands obedience from him.

Parenting is also a process of passing the baton i.e. it is the passing of good values from generations to generations.  For the Swallow and her mate, it is the passing of Christian values and beliefs to her young ones.  It means a lifetime of living for Christ and not for oneself.

Deuteronomy 6 : 7 (NKJV)
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

From the verse, the Swallow acknowledges that it is a 24/7 task to be a parent.  How will she and her mate balance between love and discipline (fear of authority)?  To love without discipline is to be permissive.  To discipline without love is to be authoritative.  Neither scenario will help their young ones.  Thus, it is with gratefulness to her Lord that He has promised to be with them, to be their Guide, to provide them with all that is necessary to handle the task of bringing up their young ones.

2 Corinthians 12 : 9 (NKJV)
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Sesame Chicken

At a recent barbecue with her family and friends, the Swallow mixed hoisin sauce and lemon juice together, threw in some toasted sesame seeds and poured the mixture over some chicken wings.  After marinating the wings overnight, the tangy taste of lemon was a good compliment for the sweeter hoisin sauce.

SESAME CHICKEN (serves 4)

Sesame Chicken

Ingredients

1 kg chicken mid-joint wings
3 tbsp hoisin sauce
juice of 1 small lemon, about 2 tbsp
2 tsp white sesame seeds, toasted

Garnish - 1 spring onion, chopped (optional) and a sprinkle of toasted sesame seeds

Method

1. Wash and rinse chicken wings.  Drain water away.  Keep the chicken wings almost dry.
2. Combine the hoisin sauce and lemon juice together in a Ziploc bag.  Add the sesame seeds into the sauce mixture. Mix well.
3. Add the chicken wings. Seal the bag and massage the sauce onto the chicken. Place the bag of marinated chicken in the refrigerator overnight or for at least 3 hours, turning the bag over occasionally.
4. Remove the bag of chicken from the refrigerator and allow it to come to room temperature before grilling starts.
5. Place a metal rack in a deep baking pan. Place some water to the baking pan (level of water should cover the base of the baking pan but not touch the metal rack). Place the pan into the oven and preheat the oven (baking function) to 240 degrees Celsius. The oven is ready when bubbles start to form on the water.
6. Place the marinated chicken on the metal rack in a single layer. Set the marinade aside for basting and sauce. Bake the chicken for 10 minutes.
7. Remove the chicken from the oven. Baste the pieces with the marinade, turn them over, baste them again and return them to the oven for another 10 minutes of baking.

   

   The chicken is ready!

8. Change the function from baking to grilling, and grill for another 5 minutes. Remove from the oven, plate and garnish with chopped spring onion and toasted sesame seeds. Allow the meat to rest for about 5-10 minutes.
9. Prepare the sauce (optional) by pouring the marinade and any leftover juices from the baking pan into a saucepan. Bring to a boil and allow to boil down to desired consistency. A mixture of cornflour and water (ratio 1:1) may be added to bring a shine to the sauce. Serve the sauce with the chicken.

Notes for BBQ

Double or triple the recipe or as needed. When grilling over a barbecue pit, ensure the charcoal has become white-ashed before cooking. Cook for about 20-30 minutes, depending on the size of the wings, basting them occasionally with the marinade. Test whether it is fully cooked by poking a bamboo skewer through. Juice should run clear. If possible (may be difficult when it's a BBQ!), allow the meat to rest for a few minutes before consumption. 

Young at Heart

On Sunday, the Swallow's family joined their friends for a time of fellowship over games and food. Beginning with lunch at the hawker centre near their local church and followed by games held at a tertiary school's sports hall, the fellowship time then ended with dinner at one of the friend's home.

It was play time for everyone who came - young ones and young-at-heart ones.  There were games of badminton and table tennis at the sports hall.  The older group of young ones battled the young-at-heart ones, matching their youth and vitality against experience and skill, although it was noted that some of the young ones had experience and skill in their clutches too.  One of the friends also took the trouble to entertain the very young ones, who were not able to join these games, with balloon sculptures.

Dinner was in the form of a barbecue.  There was enough food to feed the whole lot of friends.  They took turns to man the grill and to watch the young ones.  Satay (chicken and mutton), Otah (spicy and non-spicy), marinated chicken mid-joint wings (Sesame Chicken, Teriyaki Chicken and Spicy Mediterranean Chicken), and Banana and Bacon Rolls were some of the food items grilled over the coals.  There were also fried bee hoon, a mushroom dish, salad, drinks and ice-cream to complete the meal.

Replete after a satisfying meal, the young-at-heart ones played catch-up with each other while the older group of young ones played board games and made-up games, and the very young ones started their own 'train' with the unused chairs.

The Swallow's family enjoyed themselves very much.  In busy Singapore, it is a necessity to set aside time for such occasions of fellowship - to build and strengthen existing bonds of friendship as well as to make new bonds of friendships.  Moreso as one gets older.  During the schooling years, friends were easily made.  Maintaining the friendships was also simpler as one gets to see one's friends constantly.  However, when one leaves the schooling years behind, more effort has to be put in for friendships to last.

The Swallow is thankful to the Lord that she and her mate have these friendships with those who are from the same household of faith, having the same ideals, values and goals, to encourage them in the Christian walk.

Going by the feedback from their friends, everyone else had a good time.  However, the young-at-heart ones were reminded this morning that they were indeed only young at heart - their muscles were quick to protest and their bodies seconded the fact that they were no longer young!

Glutinous Rice

Glutinous Rice is a dish much enjoyed by the Swallow and her mate.  It is made from glutinous rice, fried with several other ingredients then steamed until the rice becomes soft and sticky.  When the Swallow's young ones were introduced to the dish, they enjoyed it too.  It became a regular staple for one of the young ones whenever the family patronized a neighbourhood shop which sold this dish.

After sampling some other Glutinous Rice dishes by her mother and her friends, the Swallow decided to be adventurous and cook this dish from scratch.  The adventure turned out better than expected although one of the young ones was quick to comment that she liked the rice to be more sticky. With her comment in mind, the Swallow experimented and finally, something that met her young one's criterion.

GLUTINOUS RICE (serves 3 - 4)

Glutinous Rice

Ingredients

300 g glutinous rice
6 pieces dried black mushrooms
1 tbsp dried shrimps
4 pieces Chinese sausages (3-inches long)

3 cloves garlic
2 shallots
1 tbsp oil
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp light soya sauce
1/2 tsp dark soya sauce
1/2 tsp sugar
1 tsp Chinese wine
2 cups of water
Garnish
2 stalks spring onions, chopped
Fried peanuts
Fried shallots
2 red chillies, chopped

Method

1. Soak glutinous rice overnight or for at least 10 hours.  Drain the rice and set it aside.
2. Wash and rinse black mushrooms.  Soak the mushrooms until they are soft.  Drain and set aside the water.  Slice the mushrooms.
3. Wash and rinse the dried shrimps.  Soak the shrimps until they are soft.  Drain and set aside the water.
4. Remove the outer layer from the Chinese sausages.  Cut the sausages into cubes.
5. Chop the garlic and shallots.
6. Heat the oil in a wok over medium heat.  Add chopped garlic and chopped shallots.  Fry until aromatic, about 30 seconds.
7. Add the shrimps and fry for 1 minute.

   

   Clockwise from top: Glutinous rice,
   chopped shallots, chopped garlic,
   dried shrimps, cubed Chinese sausages
   & sliced mushrooms

8. Add the mushrooms and fry for 1 minute.
9. Add the Chinese sausages and fry for 1 minute.
10. Add the glutinous rice and fry for 5 minutes.
11. Add the seasonings until all the ingredients are well mixed.
12. Add the water and mix well.
13. Transfer the rice mixture into a steaming dish (an aluminium 8-inch round baking tray with a 2 1/2-inch depth works well). 
14. Place the dish on a steamer rack, over briskly boiling water, and steam over high heat for 30 minutes.
15. Allow the rice to be kept warm if not eaten immediately.
16. Garnish with chopped spring onions, fried peanuts, fried shallots and chopped red chillies before serving.
17. Serve with Garlic Chilli sauce on the side.

Notes

• The amount of water used to cover the rice mixture will determine the texture of the rice. Ensure water covers the rice but the rice is not swimming in it. More water can be added after the steaming time but it cannot be removed. The rice should be sticky and chewy but not lumpy.
• When steaming time is over, check the texture. If a softer texture is preferred, add more water (about 2-3 tbsp) and continue steaming for another 10 minutes.
• The steaming water must be boiling briskly to ensure a steady steam.  Add more boiling water if necessary.

One Flesh or Two Individuals?

The first part of the first session of "Better Homes & Marriages with the 5 Love Languages" touched on the issue of being 'one flesh'.  What does this mean?  What does the Word of God say about this?  Do the two individuals that come together in marriage lose their identity?

The course's moderator started the session going with this question "What comes to mind when the word 'family' is mentioned?".  Answers like unity, love, support, belonging, were thrown back.  Yes, a family encompasses all these, and a family is needed for survival.  That was the Lord God's idea of a family.

Genesis 2 : 18 (NKJV)
And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

Genesis 2 : 24 (NKJV)
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

These two verses highlight the Lord God's intention for a marriage.  The Lord God instituted marriage to bring two individuals, a man and a woman, together to become one flesh that when others look at this relationship, they see a unit, a team, and a partnership.  These two individuals are the basis of a family.  It means even when there are no children, a family has been formed when a man and a woman come together in marriage.

However, it is so sad that nowadays, it seems to be 'normal' for a marriage to break down. The marriage is so easily given up. Almost everyday, one can read or hear about celebrities whose marriages are on the rocks. The usually-given reason is incomparable differences.  Different views on children's upbringing, relationship with parents or in-laws, and money problems may fall under this reason.  What has happened to God's intention for a marriage? What is the real cause for marriage breakdowns?

The real cause?  The Lord God has been left out of the marriage.

For a marriage to be truly successful in all dimensions, the Lord God is an essential part of the marriage. When the first priority is right, all other priorities will fall into place.

Priority is explained in the Collins English Dictionary as "most important thing that must be dealt with first" or "right to be or go before others".

In life, there are many priorities. For the baby, his priority is his mother and food (not necessarily in that order). As he grows physically, his priorities will increase to include his father, siblings and toys. Later on, there will be extended families, school and friends, then career, etc...

In a marriage, what should the husband's / wife's priorites be? The Word of God has these answers

• God and His Kingdom should be first - Matthew 6 : 33 (NKJV), "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."
• The eternal should take precedence over the temporal - 2 Corinthians 4 : 18 (NKJV), "While we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
• The spiritual should take precedence over the physical - Matthew 6 : 19 - 20 (NKJV), "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, whereoth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal."
• People should take precedence over things - Mark 8 : 36 - 37 (NKJV), "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?"

In Genesis 2 : 24, the act of leaving means to be independent of parents - geographically, emotionally, financially.  The cleaving or joining with his wife brings across a couple who is holding fast or clinging to each other.  The couple is inseparably joined together, as if they are glued or welded together, in a strong foundation that will bring them through calm waters as well as troubled waters.  'One flesh' is the mystery of marriage. It is a process of the husband completing his wife, and the wife completing her husband - physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially.

The relationship between husband and wife is to be second only to their relationship with the Lord God.  It has top priority over everything else.  As such, for one who wants to obey the Lord God, his priorities would be

1. God
2. husband / wife
3. other relationships

So where is the children's, parents', in-laws', career's, hobbies' and church ministry's place in the order of priorities?  They, based on the Word of God, would fall under 'other relationships'.  One of the Swallow's coursemates asked the question "How do we rank the priority of all those that fall under the 'other relationships' then?".  An apt question, and the answer to this question differs for everyone.  Each must seek wisdom from the Lord God to find his own answer.

In a nutshell, when one's relationship with the Lord God is right, the marriage relationship will be strong. When the husband's relationship with the Lord God is right, he will lead his family well, and love his wife in spite of her weaknesses. When the wife's relationship with the Lord God is right, she will be a comparable helper to her husband, and able to submit to his authority even when she disagrees with him.

Does one want his marriage to be a blessing in the way that the Lord God meant it to be? Does one want to change his currently-a-burden-of-a-marriage to be a marriage that is "made-in-heaven"? Then he will have to look at what his priorities are...

Better Homes & Marriages with the 5 Love Languages

A couple, with grey hair and wrinkle-lined faces, walks with their hands linked together, supporting each other as they take slow steps along the path.  Occasionally, one of them makes a remark and it is returned with a loving glance and a touch of a smile.  Back at their home, they converse together on topics close to their heart.  At each moment, one can witness the love, comfort, companionship and joy that they share together.

Just a dream?  A fairy tale?  Something one may watch in a movie?  In a world that is filled with so much news of celebrity couples going through a divorce or a time of separation, it would seem that the above scenario is just that - a make-believe scenario.  Yet, with trust in her Lord God, this is the future that the Swallow hopes to realise, if the Lord God so blesses her and her mate with a long life together.

With this hope for the future, the Swallow is willing to learn - from the Word of God, from others or from books written by like-minded authors.  Videos, when useful and available, is also a welcomed resource.  So it was a delight for the Swallow when she heard that her mate had enrolled them, early this month, in a course called "Better Homes & Marriages with the 5 Love Languages", organised by their local church.

The condensed course, of eight sessions, has two parts for each session.  The first part would be spent discussing some of the views raised by Jean Gibson (aka O J Gibson) in his book "Better Homes and Marriages" while the second part would be spent viewing a series of video clips from Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages".

Topics covered under "Better Homes and Marriages" are

• One flesh or two individuals?
• Understanding genuine love in marriage
• Overcoming selfishness in the marriage relationship
• Improving communication in marriage
• Three principles for getting along
• Reducing arguments and misunderstandings
• Resolving problems and frustrations
• Understanding areas of sexual differences
• Understanding the husband's biblical role
• Understanding the wife's biblical role
• Developing a spiritual life together
• Improving social time together
• Planning to grow in your marriage

Topics covered under "The Five Love Languages" are

• Learning to speak love languages
• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch
• Growing in love

Leadership in the Family

Moderated by the same leader of the previous session, this session concluded the course on "Biblical Principles for Leading with Love".  As the course concluded, the question of "How can these past lessons on leadership be applied in the context of a family?" was asked.

As in all other areas of life, there will be a leader in the context of a family.  Based on the biblical principles on headship, this leader in the family should be the husband and he is to be assisted by a loving, gentle and submissive wife with the wisdom that the Lord God gives.

The following verses summarise what God's perfect plan for the family is...

Ephesians 5 : 25 (NIV)
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

Ephesians 5 : 22 - 24 (NIV)
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Saviour.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 6 : 1 - 3 (NIV)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  "Honour your father and mother" - which is the first commandment with a promise - "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

It was noted, however, that in most families nowadays, the leadership has been given over to the wife or the children.  It is said, "The husband makes the general decisions while the wife makes the major decisions." (note: in an army organisation, the general is of a higher rank than the major).  Is this a good thing?

A look at the two well-known examples will give some answers to this question

• Adam and Eve - Adam did not stand up to his wife's foolishness in taking the fruit that God had commanded them not to take (Genesis 3 : 6).  The result?  Mankind was separated from God.
• Abraham and Sarah - instead of leading his family in waiting patiently for God's promise of a son, for him and Sarah, to be fulfilled, Abraham heeded Sarah's voice (Gen 16 : 2).  The result?  Enmity between the house of Ishmael and the house of Isaac, even until today.

So, how should a husband lead?  How can the wife submit, especially when the husband does not seem to be leading?  More questions need to be asked before the answers can be found.

One such question is "Who is the central figure of one's life?".  For the Swallow and her coursemates, it would be the Lord Jesus Christ.  Their decision to lead or to submit, depending on whether they are the husband or the wife, would be based on the Word of God, and by following the perfect example of the Lord Jesus Christ, who lead His followers with love, but also submitted Himself to His Father's authority as He had said in Luke 22 : 42 (NKJV), "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."

"The degree of our spiritual ability in Christ-likeness is measured by God as to how we respond to the leading of God in every aspect in life in comparison to how Christ, being perfect, would respond, if He was to act in our place."

1 John 2 : 6 (NIV)
Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.

The next question to ask is "How does one view God?".  If one views God as a God of fear, then he will likely instill fear in his followers, thus becoming an authoritative leader.  If one views God as a God of love, more often than not he will show love towards his followers at the expense of discipline, thus becoming a permissive leader.

However, based on the Word of God, the Lord God is both a God of fear and a God of love.  His authority is a perfect blend of fear (law, discipline) and love.  So the one who chooses to follow the Lord God must find a balance between the two, neither an authoritative nor a permissive leader.

"The degree that we respond to God to learn and implement His way and truth depends upon our answer."

Coming back to the family, so how should the husband lead? How can the wife submit, especially when the husband does not seem to be leading?  Looking at 1Peter 3 : 7 (NKJV), "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.", the following traits of Godly leadership in the family can be seen

• submissive leadership ("likewise") - this is the sacrificial kind of love which is also mentioned in Ephesians 5 : 25.  It is also called servant leadership.
• committed companionship ("dwell with them") - it is a committed relationship ie no divorce, and a companionship until "death do us part".  Also, this husband and wife relationship must be above any other relationship save their individual relationship with God.  Nothing should come between them.  Not children.  Not career.  Not hobbies.
• intelligent leadership ("with understanding") - to have knowledge of one's wife (needs, desires, strengths, weaknesses) and knowledge based on God's word (wives as the weaker vessel).
• honouring love ("giving honour to the wife") - this goes hand in hand with a submissive / servant leadership.
• unbroken fellowship ("that your prayers may not be hindered") - when one is obeying God as a leader, his spiritual leadership and his relationship with God will not be affected.

The Swallow is reminded that her mate's role as a leader in the family is not easy.  Neither is it enviable.  He has to bear the consequences of the decisions made within the family, whether wise or foolish decisions.  It is certainly not a role that the Swallow is anxious to take over.

However, being a submissive wife is not a role that the Swallow finds easy to take either.  Many a times, when her mate made certain decisions which the Swallow was not comfortable with, her natural reaction was to override her mate's decision there and then.  Only with the Lord God's help could she bite her tongue, go to Him in prayer, seek His wisdom, then discuss the decision with her mate in a calm and non-confrontational manner.

No, it is not an easy task, whether as a submissive-wife-helper or as a loving-husband-leader.  It is only by a daily dependence on the Lord God - on His grace, mercies, strength, wisdom, and whatever else that is needful and which He alone can provide - that the Swallow and her mate can press on to fulfill their roles and responsibilities in the family.

A Cry for Help

Not one to spend a lot of time reading the newspapers, the headlines "Cheers and tears as dramatic rescue unfolds" in yesterday's local newspapers grabbed the Swallow's attention, and she read the news about the efforts that were made to rescue thirty-three miners who were trapped deep underground in Chile.

In relatively-safe-from-natural-disasters Singapore, the Swallow may not have to bear what the miners' wives and families are bearing, yet the Swallow can imagine the horror of having a loved one trapped when natural disasters befall a country - in the raging waters when a tsunami hits, in the cold mountains when there is an avalanche, or in this case, in the deep and dark underground for more than a month.  Tears ran down the Swallow's face when she read all these stories.  There was a connection.  What if one of these men was her mate, or her young one?

Of course the Swallow hopes not to experience the torture of not knowing whether her mate or her young one will be brought out alive from the depths of the ocean, or from the bowels of the earth.  Yet life is full of the unexpected because sin abounds - the careless driver on the road, the faulty mechanism of the aeroplane or other vehicles, or an object thrown down from a high-rise building.  Pain, sorrow, tears and death cannot be avoided.

However, at times like these, the Swallow can continue to cling on to her Lord God and the promises in His word...

Revelations 21 : 1 (NIV)
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.

Revelations 21 : 3 - 4 (NIV)
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them.  They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

PART THE WATERS (author unknown)

When I think I'm going under, "Part the waters, Lord."
When I feel the waves around me, "Calm the sea."
When I cry for help, "O hear me Lord, and hold out Your hand,
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me."

Knowing You love me
Helps me face another day
Hearing Your footsteps
Drives the clouds of fears away
And in the night of my life
You bring the promise of day
Here is my hand, show me the way...

When I think I'm going under, "Part the waters, Lord."
When I feel the waves around me, "Calm the sea."
When I cry for help, "O hear me Lord, and hold out Your hand,
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me."

Knowing You love me
Through the burdens I must bear
Hearing Your footsteps
Lets me know I'm in Your care
And in the tears of my life
I see the sorrow You bore
Here is my pain, heal it once more...

When I think I'm going under, "Part the waters, Lord."
When I feel the waves around me, "Calm the sea."
When I cry for help, "O hear me Lord, and hold out Your hand,
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me.
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me."

Yes, with her life in the hands of her sovereign Lord, her tears will be but for a moment.

No Looking Back

The Swallow was born in the city, in a little-known part of the world called Malaysia.  Soon after her family moved their home to a new locality, she was allowed to attend a Sunday School which was within walking distance.

Sunday after Sunday, she heard many stories from the Bible.  Most of the stories centred around a man called Jesus Christ.  After the stories, the teachers would ask the children to memorise a Bible verse.  The following week, the Swallow would recite the verse and when it was done correctly, she would be given a sticker.  The Swallow strived to learnt the verse well as the sticker seemed like a badge of honour, and she would display the sticker proudly to her siblings who were not allowed to attend the Sunday School then.

She learnt many songs and choruses that told of God and His love, and that also mentioned the man Jesus Christ.  She soon learnt that Jesus Christ was not only a man, but He was God too.  She learnt that because of the naughty things she does, she could not go to heaven.  Now the Swallow was an active child and was constantly getting into trouble with her parents and teachers.  As far as she could understand, she wanted to go to heaven and if believing in Jesus Christ would bring her to heaven, she would believe in Him then.

When circumstances were tough, the Swallow found herself singing many of these songs and choruses.  Memory verses would also be brought to mind whenever she felt sad, alone and afraid.  One such occasion came when she and her siblings stayed with her popo for a few nights.  She and her siblings would sleep in the hall as the house was small.  There were many idols in her popo's hall, and on the first night, the look of the idols caused the Swallow to fear closing her eyes.   The loud ticking of the clock in the hall, coupled with her wild imagination, made her uneasy too.  She was unable to sleep although her siblings were sleeping soundly.  It was then that she remembered a chorus she had been singing often in Sunday School...

JESUS LOVES ME (author unknown)

Jesus loves me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.

In her little heart, she cried out to the Lord Jesus.  She asked Him to please take away her fears and let her be able to sleep.  Sleep came quickly then, and for the next few nights at her popo's house, the Swallow no longer tossed and turned in bed.  Each night, she asked the Lord Jesus to help her.  That was the start of a journey towards knowing who God is, and what He has done for her.

Over the years, she learnt more about Jesus Christ the Son of God, and the Lord God His Father.  Each time when she felt she had been extra naughty, she would again ask the Lord Jesus to help her to be good.  She wanted to go to heaven very much.  In her final year of primary school, she finally understood what belief in the Lord Jesus Christ was really about, and she trusted Him completely as her Saviour, Lord and King.

No, it did not mean that the Swallow was not naughty anymore.  It simply meant that when she did wrong and asked the Lord God to forgive her, she is forgiven because of Jesus' death on the cross.  The Bible says in Romans 6 : 23 (NIV), "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Jesus has paid that price when He, as the perfect Lamb of God, died on the cross for men's sins.  The Swallow's past sins, present sins and future sins have all been forgiven.  She is righteous not because of her own works (that will fail time and time she does wrong), but because of the perfect sacrifice that Jesus made, once and for all.

As she grew physically, she experienced God's love constantly in her life and this caused her love for Him to grow.  Her faith and trust in Him also grew.

When the Swallow was led to start a new life in Singapore, it was with a bit of trepidation, but with a giant leap of faith too in her Lord God, who became even more real to her. She saw His hand of blessing in the life she was called to.  It is the Swallow's greatest desire that in all things, she will glorify and honour Him.

Philippians 3 : 14 (NKJV)
I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

HE'S MY LIFE, HE'S MY LIGHT (author unknown)

He's my Life, He's my Light
He fills me with delight
Jesus Christ is my Saviour
And I trust in His might
He's my King
Everything
I have is His own
When I'm living for Jesus alone!

No, there is no looking back.  The Swallow can now only look forward to the day when the Lord Jesus Christ comes again for her.  And while waiting for His return, she will strive to follow Him wherever He leads her.

Dare to Run

The Swallow is NOT a runner.  When she participated in the cross-country races held during her school-going years, her target would be just to finish the race and get the minimum one point.  She knew the top-ten runners' list would forever remain out of her reach.

How does one run a race?  The Swallow cannot speak for others, but to her, it is about her focus.  When she ran in the cross-country races, she focused on these aspects...

• the finishing line - no giving up, no matter how difficult the race
• the time - in order to get the minimum one point, she had to finish within the time limit
• the pacing - knowing her limits and keeping her breathing regular (the first time she ran, she paced herself with her friends who ran much faster, quickly found herself out of breath and although she finished the event, did not manage to do it in time and thus failed to get the minimum one point)
• the training - practice runs week after week
• the cheerleaders - those who continuously encouraged her not to give up
• the satisfaction - yes!

And not on these...

• the cuts and bruises
• the pain in her sides
• the snide laughter of some who finished much earlier

Life is a race too, isn't it?  For the world, it is called the rat race.  For the Swallow and others who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, it is the believer's race.  Though the outcome of the two races is different, yet there is a similarity in these races - what is the runner's focus?

It has always been the Swallow's goal to do her best.  At first, it was to avoid the scoldings from her parents and teachers when she did not do her best.  Later on, when she had tasted of God's love and had believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, it was with a grateful heart that she wanted to do her best, to give God the glory and honour that He deserves.

In her believer's race, it is always a constant struggle for the Swallow to do her best.  So much easier it is to just relax, not to bother, not to care.  Well, that's the sinful nature in her, wanting always to please herself instead of the Lord God.  So it is that when she has such thoughts and feelings, she has to bring her focus back on her reason for living - the Lord Jesus Christ.

In the Lord Jesus Christ, she has a Saviour - One who has gone through much more than what she has endured when He had His race to run on earth so He understands what she has in her heart.  As she is on His team, when He was victorious in His race, the Swallow too is counted as victorious.  What comfort it is to trust in One such as this!

DARE TO RUN (author unknown)

The assembly of the faithful
Surrounding yet unseen
Is gathered as a witness to the race
And on the track awaiting
Are the runners of today
The call has come for each to take his place
The road ahead is narrow
The way is sometimes steep
And only the committed claim the prize
But standing at the finish
With arms outstretched to greet us
Is the One who has endured the race
And paid the final price...

Dare to run, with our eyes fixed on Jesus
Following the footsteps of the One who's gone before us
Dare to run, with the power of His Spirit
Called to be victors in a race already won
Dare to run!

We must have our Saviour's vision, compassion for the lost
Courage for the future, love at any cost

Dare to run, with our eyes fixed on Jesus
Following the footsteps of the One who's gone before us
Dare to run, with the power of His Spirit
Called to be victors in a race already won
Dare to run
Called to be victors in a race already won
Dare to run!

Pothos Plant

The Swallow was given a Pothos (Epipremnum Aureum) plant when one of her friends made a move to the USA.  The Pothos plant is a hardy plant.  Able to withstand both sunlit and shaded conditions, the Pothos plant is a fitting plant for the Swallow, whose connection with plants is still a work-in-progress.

When the Pothos plant was first given to the Swallow, it was a thriving plant.  Coping with growing children coupled with a growing demand of her time from various directions, the Swallow did not give the plant proper care.  Although the plant did not thrive, it did not die.  All that happened was that a few leaves turned brown when it was underwatered, then when it was watered, it put out new shoots.

However, over the years, the number of leaves that grew became less and less while the number of leaves that turned brown became more and more.  When the Swallow was finally able to channel some of her time to the care of plants, she realised that the Pothos plant was a shade of its original vigour.  It was time for some drastic measures...

Out of the pot came the remaining plants.  The roots were gently but thoroughly washed in water to remove all the soil, then all the plants were placed into a crystal trophy vase, received from the Swallow's mate's office (it was going to be thrown away!), with the intention of growing the plants in water.

Growing Pothos
(the one on the right) in water

Maybe the depth was too much, or maybe the plants had gone into a state of shock, but the Pothos plants started to drop their leaves.  Looking miserable in the now-too-huge-a-container, the Swallow decided to restart the planting experience with a smaller container.

As mentioned in a previous post, the Pothos plants are still around to this day, maybe a shade of its original glory, but on its way (hopefully) to recovery.

The Swallow hopes that in life, she will be as hardy as the Pothos plant, able to withstand some hardships and coming out stronger, and she will - for her faith and trust is in the One who is a far better caregiver, One who will always be there for her.

Mentoring & Discipleship

In the seventh session of "Biblical Principles for Leading with Love", the issues of mentoring and discipleship were discussed.  Mentoring is part of the fabric of life.  It is not limited to the Christian circle as there are many ideas which can be found in, and also widely used by the secular side.  However, as Christians, the Swallow and her coursemates looked at and discussed mentoring from the Christian context.

For the Christian, mentoring and discipleship can be said as having two sides of a coin.  They go hand in hand.  When mentoring is actively practiced, strong disciples are made.  When it is passively practiced, disciples are still made but these may be weak.  The ratio for mentor and disciple is also not fixed, as there are often times when one person may be under the guidance of several mentors.

For a vibrant Christian mentor-disciple relationship, the following components are needed

• dynamic - it has to be an active and growing relationship where both parties are flexible and stimulates each other so that it empowers not only the disciple but the mentor as well
• intentional - there must be purpose and direction to the process of mentoring ie it has to be done in an orderly manner and not when one feels like it
• relationship - it is a relationship, where the mentor and the disciple become partners and spiritual mates for a brief period of time, anything from 3 months to 3 years (in some cases, even longer)
• trust - this is the key and the basis of the relationship where the disciple relies on, and puts his confidence in his mentor and vice versa
• enables - when done correctly, the process of mentoring enables the disciple to move on, and make possible a vibrant relationship with the Lord God
• maximise - this is where the disciple's skills and gifts are made the most of, for the glory of God
• grace of God - without this, one can do nothing.

Ecclesiastes 4 : 9 - 12 (NIV)
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up, but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Although the above verses are often used in messages presented at Christian weddings, the verses are also relevant to the mentor-disciple relationship.  A Christ-centred mentor-disciple relationship will thrive, and both parties will emerge stronger in their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

In essence, the process of mentoring in the Christian context is actually under-mentoring.  As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11 : 1 (NKJV), "Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ."

It is true.  The Lord Jesus was and is the prime model of mentoring. While He was on earth, He was the perfect example for the twelve chosen disciples and the many others who also followed Him.  He was involved with people.  He was always available.  There were times, recorded in the Bible, when He went away to be alone yet when people sought Him out, He never rejected them.  His character was blameless and pure.

In His teaching, the Lord Jesus spoke with authority, and He spoke plainly. Imagine, children and fishermen counted as His followers! His words brought life and hope to all who heard Him.  He was patient with His disciples when they could not understand Him.  However, He also spoke with truth.  He never compromised the truth. There were many occasions recorded in the Bible where the Jewish leaders and temple authorities were offended by Him.  Also, when the disciples spoke or did wrongly, He corrected them gently but firmly.

The Lord Jesus had compassion on those who followed Him. He fed them when they were hungry, with spiritual food as well as physical. He caused them to think and wonder about His deeds and the miracles He performed.

The Lord Jesus committed His ways, in prayer, to His heavenly Father.  He stayed focused at all times, even when the cross and death was before Him.  He forgave, and also asked His heavenly Father to forgive, those who put Him on the cross.  He died for these as well.  He changed the course of history.

Mentoring should not be a life-long process.  The ultimate goal for the mentor is to help his disciple grow in his relationship with the one true God, and taking responsibility for himself.

We all blossom in the presence of one who sees the good in us and who can coax the best out of us. -- Rev Desmond Tutu

Bearing Fruit

Chilli Plant has borne fruit

Having been unsuccessful in her previous attempt in growing chillies from seed, the Swallow wanted to try again and she did so in October last year.  The start of her experiment as well as the transplanting of the plants are mentioned in her post "Chilli Plant Experiment".  The little chilli plants were placed indoors, at a well-lit-by-afternoon-sun location.

The Swallow was away for almost two weeks in June this year, attending a camp with her local church in Malaysia then dropping in to visit her parents and siblings on the way back to Singapore.  On her return, one of the first few things she did was to check on her plants.  How did they fare?  Did some of them die while she was away?  She had done what she could to keep them alive, but did these actions worked?

It was with a bit of trepidation when she checked on her plants, but these feelings of fear and anxiety were soon replaced with feelings of much joy when she saw that not only were they still alive, but two of the plants had borne fruit!

Harvest time is coming!

There was more joy when the fruit-bearing did not stop.  There are four chillies borne todate.  One has been eaten (so delicious!), one is turning red and two are growing longer.

Ripe Chilli

How does one describe a joy like that?  Is the joy similar to that feeling felt by a parent who has loved, cared for and trained his naughty young one, then sees his young one grow 'in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men'?  Is it similar to that feeling felt by a parent who releases the strings of authority on his young one slowly, then sees his young one willingly place himself under God's authority?  Or is it similar to that feeling felt by a parent who, after all the training and when the young one has shown that he can be responsible, lets his young one go then sees his young one continue on to be more and more responsible?  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!

Likewise, there will be much joy in heaven when the Heavenly Father sees His children bearing fruit.

Jesus said in John 15 : 8 (NKJV), "By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so that you will be My disciples".

A Young One's Attempt to Make His Favourite Cupcakes

Chocolate Chip Cupcakes

The Works of a Leader

In the sixth session of "Biblical Principles for Leading with Love", it was mentioned that the works or actions of a good leader fell into two areas ie what one knows, and what one does.  What one knows would be his abilities, skills and biblical knowledge.  What one does would be his commitment, competence and compassion.

Salvatian is by faith, in the Lord Jesus Christ, alone.  Good works will not save.  However, good works are indications of true belief in the Lord Jesus.  As Jesus said in John 15 : 5 (NIV), "I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

So how is a Christian's work different from that of one who is not a Christian?  For the Christian, it would and should be done for God's glory and honour.  Any praise that comes would and should be redirected to the Lord God.  The Lord God is the One who has granted the Christian the abilities, skills, knowledge (biblical or otherwise), commitment, competence and compassion in his various areas of service.

The session also gave the Swallow and her coursemates a chance to look at the differences between the wisdom received from God, and man's wisdom.  In the Christian ministry and service, there is always a danger that one may resort to worldly wisdom instead of looking to the Lord God for His wisdom.

It was noted that the Lord Jesus Christ did not limit His contact with people.  He welcomed all who sought after Him, from little children to those whom the righteous leaders in those times termed as sinners.  Following in the steps of the Lord they serve, the Christian and the church need to

• be united and exalt the Lord together, giving themselves completely to Him in the actions and attitudes of life that they may truly be worshippers in spirit and in truth.
• follow the instructions of the Lord Jesus, with the power of God the Spirit, as laid down in Matthew 28 : 19, 20 and Acts 1 : 8.
• build up and encourage fellow believers of the Lord Jesus Christ.

No, the Christian's work is never done.  As long as he is still earth-bound, he will need to work for his Lord and his Master.  As the Swallow has heard on numerous occasions, there is no retirement in the Christian's work.  Maybe a different area of service, maybe a change of ministry, maybe another calling, but no retirement.  So it is a long journey for believers in Christ, for only when they are at the gates of heaven will their work on earth be done.

May the Swallow, her coursemates, and other fellow believers in the Lord Jesus be continually encouraged to press on in their work to bring glory and honour to the One they serve.  How wonderful it is that their Lord and Master is the One who will equip them with the tools they will need for His work.  All they need to do is to look to Him.

Philippians 4 : 13 (NKJV)
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

A Matter of Perspective

As the Swallow was walking one of her young ones to school this morning, the young one started the conversation rolling...

Young One (YO) : Mama, are the days getting longer?
The Swallow : (not really knowing...) Looks like they are getting shorter.  At this time yesterday, the sky was actually brighter.  Maybe the sun has changed its direction.
YO : But Mama, I thought it should be the earth that changes its direction?  The earth moves around the sun, right?

The Swallow's young one was right, wasn't she?  It is the earth that orbits around the sun and not the other way around.  This scenario expresses the Swallow's life perfectly (and that of other Christians too), where the central figure is and should be Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the One who gave up heaven's glory for her and the rest of the world.

When the sun is not seen, when clouds cover the sun in the sky, it is not that the sun has disappeared.  It is still there.  It is just hidden temporarily from men's sight.  When the clouds break apart, the sun in all its glory will shine through again.

When there are troubles in the Swallow's life, or when she is besieged by problems after problems, His presence is still with her.  She may lose her focus temporarily to look at the problems instead, but the Lord Jesus has never and will never leave her because He has promised and He is faithful.  He is still with her.  He will carry her through the storms of life.  He has not and will not disappear from her life.  Once saved, always saved.

The problems, the crisis, are like the clouds in the sky.  They need to be broken apart, and the Swallow is glad that her faith in her Lord God is the tool which would break the 'clouds of problems' apart.  Then, God's radiance and glory will shine through.

The Next Lap

The fourth quarter of the year 2010 is soon approaching.  For the young ones, another academic year will soon be over.  It is an important year for them as they will be facing a streaming process which will determine the next phase of their school lives.  As it is, one of the young ones has just been asked to make his choice of combination subjects and he will need to make his decision by this Friday.

When his school principal had requested to meet all the parents at the beginning of the third term, the explanation of the streaming process was difficult to understand.  However, having seen the combination choices this evening, the Swallow realised that it was not as difficult as it had sounded.

Well, the young one has made his choices, and the Swallow and her mate approve of his choices.  As with his earlier choices of a secondary school, the Swallow and her mate are committing this matter to their Lord God.  The Swallow is thankful that her young one has decided to take this matter to the Lord as well.  The final outcome will also depend on his year-end results.

For the other young one, the streaming process is simpler and will only depend on her academic results.

So it is the next lap for the young ones even as they push themselves towards the end of the academic race 2010.  The Swallow and her mate are cheering them on; to be diligent and with their mind set on pleasing the Lord in all that they do.  As mentioned in her post "Well done!", it is the journey that counts.  Any good results will be a bonus.

Singing for My Lord

Music has always played a big role in the Swallow's life.  She learnt to sing nursery rhymes in kindergarten, popular oldies during music lessons in her primary school, and followed by pop songs in her teenage years.  When she started to attend Sunday School in her first year at primary school, she was also exposed to gospel songs and many other songs that Christians sang.  Later on in her teenage years, she also tried to play the organ and the guitar, and learnt enough to play a tune or two.

Over the years, the Swallow would sing whenever she could.  With her family, usually her siblings, or with friends.  Singing along while songs played over the radio.  Singing songs recorded in vinyl records and cassettes.  Singing Christian songs or secular songs.

However, when her mood is not good, the Swallow finds that her spirit is lifted only when she lifts her voice in praise to her Lord and King.  Instead of the focus on her problems, when her heart swells up in praise and adoration to her Lord and Master, her focus is redirected to the One who sees her through her problems, the One who has promised to be with her always; and her spirit is revived.

Hebrews 13 : 5b (NIV)
...because God has said, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

When there were talent shows in her secondary school, she had never garnered courage to sing on the stage.  Yet when opportunities arose to sing in the church, whether in a choir or singing team, she was able to do so.  She believes with all her heart that it was again her focus.  When she sang for her Lord, her focus was to bring Him glory and thus she lacked the self-consciousness.  When the motive of her heart was right, the Lord gave her the courage to sing for Him and Him alone.

I'M SINGING FOR MY LORD (author unknown)

I'm singing for my Lord everywhere I go
Singing of His wondrous love that the world may know
How He saved a wretch like me by His death on Calvary
I'm singing for my Lord everywhere I go.

I'm singing for the lost just because I know
Jesus Christ, whose precious blood washes white as snow;
If my songs to Him can bring some lost souls I'll gladly sing;
I'm singing for my Lord everywhere I go.

I'm singing for the saints as they journey home;
Soon they'll reach that happy land where they'll never roam
And with me they'll join and sing praises to our Lord and King;
I'm singing for my Lord everywhere I go.

The Character & Behaviour of a Leader

In the fifth session of "Biblical Principles for Leading with Love", the Swallow and her coursemates learnt more about the character and behaviour of a loving leader.  The moderator for this session was different from the one who lead in the first four sessions.  However, he also reiterated the same thought that one can be a leader in any situation eg whether as a man leading his family, as a woman leading her children, as a teacher leading his class or simply as an older person leading a younger person.

When the world looks at a Christian, they expect to see perfection, not understanding that the thing that separates the Christian from the world is not perfection but grace.  When one becomes a Christian, he is not perfect in himself but in the Lord Jesus Christ, and what He has done on the cross for men's sins.  However, because of the world's lack of understanding, character and behaviour are important for a Christian, moreso for a Christian leader who stands in public scrutiny.  When the world looks at the Christian, let them see the Lord Jesus Christ.  Let the Christian, leader or not, bring glory and not shame for his Lord God.

Without character and right behaviour, one loses his influence.

The coursemates dived into several Bible passages to discover some characteristics required of a leader.  The list is a long one but some of these characteristics are

• blameless
• husband of one wife
• not self-willed
• not quick-tempered
• sober-minded
• not greedy for money
• hospitable
• eager
• not as being lords over those entrusted to them but
• being examples to those they are shepherding.

The Christian must lead others based on the principles set out in 1 Corinthians 13, the familiar passage on Unconditional Love.

"Do not forget the culture of the inner man - I mean the heart.  How diligently the cavalry officer keeps his sabre clean and sharp; every stain he rubs off with the greatest care.  Remember you are God's sword, His instrument - I trust a chosen vessel unto Him to bear His name.  In great measure, according to the purity and perfections of the instrument, will be the success.  It is not great talents God blesses so much as great likeness to Jesus.  A holy minister is an awful weapon in the hand of God. " --- Robert Murray McCheyne

Cooking Disaster #1

When the Swallow was young, she had always wondered if the kitchen was a magical place.  What did the adults do inside?  They go in with raw meat and fresh vegetables, stayed a long time inside, and then they would finally appear with food that looked and smelt delicious.  Magic!

The Swallow had tried on several occasions to sneak a peek at what her mother and her Popo (maternal grandmother) did in the kitchen, but would always be thwarted by Popo's sharp eyes.  She seemed to have eyes on her back because no matter how quietly the Swallow sneaked in, Popo would know and she would then shoo the Swallow out of the kitchen.

The day finally came when she was allowed into the magical place if only to be the one to bear the delicious food out of the kitchen.  Before her exit out of the kitchen, the Swallow would take the opportunity to breathe in the different aromas.  It was the beginning of her adventures in the kitchen...

Well, where there are adventures, there will always be misadventures too.  And that was true for the Swallow.  In her pursuit to do magic in the kitchen, the Swallow had to deal with mistakes, learn to cope with these mistakes and (hopefully) be wiser for the experience(s).

One such mistake happened early in her cooking experience.  When she stayed with her Ah Mah (paternal grandmother), she had bragged that she could cook.  Actually, all the cooking she had done then was helping her mother to stir the food around the wok (a large Chinese cooking pot) while her mother was busy with other cooking preparations.  The wise Ah Mah refrained from scolding the Swallow for her boastfulness.  Instead, she asked the Swallow to have a go at cooking a dish all by herself.

Stir-Fried Chinese Spinach with Garlic

The Swallow had no chance to eat her brash words.  With her heart in her mouth, she went ahead to do so.  After all, it was a golden opportunity...finally, a chance to do her very own kitchen magic!

The dish was Stir-Fried Chinese Spinach with Garlic.  She remembered all the preparation processes she had learnt from her mother and did them accordingly - pluck the spinach leaves, wash them, and drain them; and flatten the garlic with the back of the knife, peel the skin off, and chop the garlic.

Chinese Spinach Soup upgraded with pork balls

It was a defining moment.  The wok was on the stove.  The fire was turned on.  The oil was in the wok,  and heating up.  Then the garlic was in, and tossed around the wok with the wok chan (a metal Chinese spatula).  Next was the spinach leaves.  Again, the spinach was tossed around the wok.  So far, so good...

Gaining confidence, the Swallow then took some water and quickly poured it into the wok.  Too late, she realized she had poured in too much water!  She glanced at her Ah Mah, worried that she would be given a scolding.  To her surprise, she saw a smile on her Ah Mah's face.  When she was questioned by the Swallow, her Ah Mah just said, "Don't worry, at least now you know how to cook Chinese Spinach Soup."

Good Meal for Poor Health

A Bowl of Macaroni Soup with Shredded Chicken to whet a poor appetite

Click here for the recipe.

Macaroni Soup with Shredded Chicken

In her younger days, when the Swallow had fevers or colds, she was usually offered bread with milk (a mixture of condensed milk and warm water).  This was a simple solution for a meal as there was no wastage if the Swallow's appetite was poor.  A sign that she was recovering from her illness would be when thoughts of a warm bowl of Macaroni Soup or a bowl of Chicken Porridge assail her, and she would request for something more appetizing than the bread with milk.

Macaroni Soup is a versatile dish.  It can be served when someone is feeling under the weather, or when he is in the pink of health.  It can be served in an elaborate way with all the extras thrown in, or in a simple way by just putting some meat, a stock cube and pasta together.  It can be served at a family's meal-time, or for a get-together between friends.

The following recipe is for Macaroni Soup cooked in an elaborate way.  Yes, it does entail a little more time in the preparation but the time spent is well worth it.  The soup, when cooked this way, nourishes and provides the body with a highly-nutritious fluid content.  The aroma of freshly-boiled soup also whets the appetite.  For these reasons, the Swallow will promptly serve up this version of Macaroni Soup when someone in the family is feeling poorly, or is recovering from a bout of illness.

MACARONI SOUP WITH SHREDDED CHICKEN (serves 4 - 6)

Macaroni Soup
with Shredded Chicken

Ingredients

• 1 whole chicken
• 2 additional chicken carcasses (easily found in supermarkets nowadays)
• 2 leeks, separated into whites and greens
• 6 garlic cloves
• 1 pc thumb-sized old ginger
• 3 carrots
• about 4 ltrs water
• 250g beansprouts (optional)
• 300g siow bai chai
• 400g elbow pasta
• salt & pepper, to taste
• fried shallots (optional)
• spring onions, sliced (optional)

Method

1. Bring water to a boil.
2. Add the chicken (backbone side down first), chicken carcasses, white parts of the leeks, garlic, ginger and carrots into the boiling water.  This will make the soup base.  Leave the pot uncovered and bring the soup back to a boil over medium heat.  This will take about 25 minutes.  Turn the chicken over mid-cooking.
3. When the soup is boiling again, turn off the heat and cover the pot.  Leave the chicken in the pot for another 25 minutes.  Remove the chicken.
4. After removing the chicken, bring the soup back to a boil.  Lower the heat and simmer the soup for about 2 hours or until soup has a pale white colour.
5. Meanwhile, separate the chicken into pieces.  Shred the chicken breast and fillet.  Return the bones back to the soup for boiling.  (The drumsticks and thighs may be eaten as they are or use them in Hakka Salted Chicken).  Set aside the shredded chicken.
6. Cook the pasta according to the manufacturer's instructions.  Drain and rinse to stop the cooking process.  Set aside.
7. If using beansprouts, rinse then blanch them in boiling water for 1 - 2 minutes and drain. Set aside.
8. Rinse the siow bai chai.  Blanch them in boiling water for 1 - 2 minutes and drain.  Set aside.
9. When the soup is done, remove the carrots. Slice them and set aside.  Discard all the other ingredients in the soup.
10. Add the green parts of the leeks into the soup and boil for another 5 minutes.
11. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
12. To serve, put pasta into a bowl.  Add the sliced carrots, beansprouts, siow bai chai and shredded chicken.  Add the soup.
13. Garnish with fried shallots and spring onion, if required.  Eat hot or warm.

Notes

• For a spicy and sour kick, have a side dish of cut red chilli drizzled with some soya sauce and freshly squeezed juice of limes.
• If eating the chicken pieces as they are, serve them with some Garlic Chilli Sauce.
• Siow bai chai may be replaced by mustard greens or baby spinach.