Assam Prawns

Assam Prawns is a common variant of the favourite assam dish.  When prawns are a good buy at the supermarket, coupled with the cold weather, the Swallow will serve this dish to tantalize the taste buds.

ASSAM PRAWNS (serves 4)

Ingredients

• 600g medium prawns
• 2 large onions, sliced
• 5 - 7 fresh chillies
• 1 tsp belachan granules
• 3 shallots
• 4 candlenuts
• 1 cup tamarind water
• 2 - 3 tamarind pieces
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 4 tbsp oil
• 1 can pineapple rings, drained and cut into pieces
• syrup from can of pineapples
• additional boiled water, if necessary
• sugar, to taste

Method

1. Rinse prawns lightly in water.  Trim shells and feelers.  Remove the heads (optional).
2. Ground chillies, belachan, shallots and candlenuts into a fine paste.
3. Heat oil in a wok until hot.  Fry the paste until the oil separates from the paste.  Add tamarind water, tamarind pieces, salt and syrup.
4. Add prawns, large onions and pineapples pieces.  Fry the mixture until the prawns turn colour.  Season with sugar, to taste.
5. Serve hot with rice.

Notes

• Juice from limes may be added for a more sourish taste.

The Proverbs 31 Woman

Proverbs 31 : 10 - 31 (NKJV)
Who can find a virtuous wife?  For her worth is far above rubies,
The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain,
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for no household, and a portion for her maidservants.
She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants.
Strength and honour are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all."
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

The Best of All - a book
based on the
Proverbs 31 woman

Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Seen to be a superwoman or a paragon by many people, the Proverbs 31 is "not a real woman but a model - someone whose example we can follow.", as written by Gien Karssen in her book "The Best of All".

Having read the book at different phases in her life, the Swallow recently sat down and read it again.  Easy to read, and not too thick (an important point for busy women of nowadays!), the book offers many thoughts on the Proverbs 31 model of a woman.  For an overwhelmed Swallow, they were fresh reminders that she needs to fear the Lord, and He will strengthen her to be "The Best of All".

House Visit

Last night, a call through the gates alerted the Swallow of several people standing outside her nest.  They were the advanced party heralding the soon arrival of an MP to the block, and checking with each homeowner whether they would like a visit from him.

There had been several house visits before but they were usually on Sundays.  It was a year back when the request came while the Swallow was at home.  Alas, the Swallow had to decline the visit.  The time was just not right - there were short-termed guests staying in the nest whose young one had just thrown a tantrum and his cries could still be heard, the Swallow's young ones were sleeping (even with the noise - amazing and thanks to her Lord!), her mate was overseas...no, the time was just not right.

Following the Singapore General Elections in May, a new MP had taken over and he followed in the steps of his predecessor, conducting house visits and "Meet-the-People" sessions to touch the hearts of the residents staying in his ward of responsibility.

Last night's appeal came at 9pm.  Being a school night, her young ones were sleeping.  Her mate was out on his cycling routine.  The Swallow was just about to start her ironing.  Well, the time was just not right - again!  When the Swallow informed them that her young ones were already sleeping, looks of surprise and disappointment flitted across their faces, before they smiled, thanked her and left.

The Swallow is happy that her MP is reaching out with such methods, but she would be happier for more advanced notice.  Having to decline the house visit, she felt like she had taken the role of the inn-keeper who told Joseph and a very-pregnant Mary that there was no room in the inn...

Face the Cross

As mentioned in her post "The Art of Hosptality", there were many low points in the recent years, but at the point when she was ready to throw in the towel, she heard the song "Face the Cross" being sung by one of her young ones in preparation for her church's annual gospel rally in July.  The meaningful words touched her heart and reminded her of the journey that the Lord Jesus undertook for her sake.

FACE THE CROSS by Ruth Elaine Schram & Scott Schram

You came into the world as a tiny Child
Small and unassuming
From Your first conscious thought
You knew Calvary was before You looming
You knew who You were
What You would do
Why You had been sent to this place -

To face the cross, never turn away
The salvation of the world hangs in the balance
You must face the cross, follow and obey
Knowing God will make a way
For You to face the cross.

Mary, on Golgotha's hill, mourning every wound
Broken-hearted, crying
You can't believe your eyes
Cannot bear to see your son and Saviour dying
You heard His first word
Held Him in your arms
Now you pray to Heaven for grace -

To face the cross, never turn away
The salvation of the world hangs in the balance
You must face the cross, follow and obey
Knowing God will make a way
For you to face the cross.

How hard it is to look upon that dying form
To resist the urge to run for cover from the storm
But each of us is free to choose
To turn away, or to stay -
And embrace the cross
Stand and face the cross
The salvation of the world hangs in the balance
Stand and face the cross
Never turn away
Follow and obey
Knowing God will make a way
For you to face the cross
Face the cross
Face the cross.

The Lord Jesus faced the cross of Calvary.  He did not need to, but He did so because of His great love for the Swallow and the rest of mankind.  The reminder put aright her perspectives on apparent hurts.  The going was tough because she had been leaning on her own understanding, because she thought she was easygoing.  She has much yet to learn.

Ephesians 2 : 8 - 10 (NIV)
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

The Swallow is encouraged.  Even if she stumbles along the race that she is running, she is already saved.  Each stumble, each fall, will never take away her salvation.  Jesus has done it all.  The race and all that comes with it are just training-in-progress.  She will choose to face the cross, with the strength and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Solitude With the Lord

E I L N S T

These six alphabets can be used to form two words...

The first word is L I S T E N.

The second word is S I L E N T.

When these anagrams were brought to her attention two weeks ago during a BSF session, the Swallow was amazed how applicable it was for her, as a Christian...in order to listen to the Holy Spirit's still small voice, she needs to constantly seek time to be silent before the Lord, to spend time in solitude with Him, to be still and know that He is God.  In the busy moments of her life, it is easy to get caught up with the hustle and bustle, and leave solitude with her Lord a lesser priority.

In an advancing society and technological setting like Singapore, quiet moments are few or rare unless one actively seeks to find them.  For a homemaker like the Swallow, there are many things that can snatch away such quiet moments of precious time with the Lord.  That pile of laundry waiting to be washed, dried and folded.  Planning the menu and shopping for groceries.  The vacuuming.  Toilets to be washed.  Mate or young ones needing help.  Exercise.  Gardening.  Answering calls or emails.  Even writing blog posts!  The list can be endless...

It was a good reminder.

On the Sunday following that Tuesday, not realising that it was September 11th, the Swallow requested the children in her Sunday School to memorize at least the first verse from the following passage...

Psalm 46 : 1 - 3 (NKJV)
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though its waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its dwelling. (Selah)

When asked by the children what 'Selah' meant, she explained that it was an indication to pause or to stop, and to reflect on the words, and understand what they meant. (Note from a Bible Dictionary: Selah is a word of frequent occurence in Psalms, and supposed to mean an interlude in vocal music.)

When she requested the children to give examples of the disasters as mentioned in the passage, and one of them shouted '911', only then did she remember the date and realised how significant it was.  A day later, one of the local newspapers also carried the news that United States President Barack Obama had read Psalm 46 from the Bible at the 9/11 memorial service.

"Thank You, Lord.  You are my Faithful God.  Always caring for me.  Constantly reminding me to look to You, the Sovereign One who is in control, and I need nor fear disasters that happen around me, because my trust is in You alone.  Thank You, Lord.  You are my Gentle Shepherd.  Always looking out for me.  Constantly keeping watch over this sheep that is prone to wander off the paths that You want me to go.  Picking me up and carrying me in Your arms when I am hurting, bewildered, and feeling lost and alone.  You deserve my praise, my Heavenly Father.  Thank You, thank You, thank You."

Times of Refreshing

In her walk with the Lord God, the Swallow is not exempted from times of distress, times of frustration, times of despondency or times when days were days of "just coping".

However, because of her faith and trust in her Creator, her Lord and her God, she can testify and identify with Paul, an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, when he wrote in 2 Corinthians 3 : 8 - 10, "We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed - always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body."

The Lord Jesus suffered the agony of rejection by His Father as He carried the sins of the whole world on the cross, so He knows and understands what agonies man go through.  Thus, when the Swallow chooses to spend her time immersed in seeking Him - through prayer, the reading and studying of His word - she is refreshed.

Her local church, in recognition of the need to be fed, inspired, instructed, and refreshed daily by the Word of God, and together with Trans World Radio Asia, launched a radio programme called "Times of Refreshing" on 18 September 2011.  This radio broadcast has since been discontinued, but the Swallow is glad that these times of refreshing will not stop with the discontinuation. Her Bible is always at hand.

Acts 3 : 19 (NKJV)
"Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord."

Edited on 1 August 2017 due to the discontinuation of the radio programme.

The Art of Hospitality

In the early years of their marriage, the Lord God had made it possible for the Swallow and her mate to possess a nest big enough to house a couple of young ones, the extended family from Malaysia, and any other short-termed guests.  With such a blessing from their Lord, the Swallow and her mate were keen to open up their nest whenever they were called upon to do so.  They did not hesitate to comply as the Word of God also encourages one to be hospitable.

1 Peter 4 : 9 (NKJV)
Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.

2 Corinthians 9 : 7 (NKJV)
So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.

A couple of years back, an opportunity to be hospitable to a near relative for a short time landed at the Swallow's doorstep.  Besides wanting to please her Lord God by obeying His commandments and pleasing her mate along the way, notice had also been given that it would only be a short stay as the near relative was going to buy his own house within a few months.
 
Starting off in the race called "The Art of Hospitality", the Swallow was glad to serve her Lord God with the talents that He had given to her.  Making arrangements to accommodate the near relative such as preparing the nest adequately and preparing her young ones for the addition were tasks she was happy to do.
 
For a bachelor to stay with a family, adjustments had to be made by both parties as there would bound to be lifestyle differences.  To maintain peace and to avoid conflicts, differences need to be sorted through and communicated with each other.  So if any lifestyle differences appeared, she would mention them to the near relative, and adjustments would then be made to accommodate each other.  Peace would be restored.  What could be more difficult?
 
Then the near relative moved in.
 
Indeed, there were plenty of adjustments to be made.  The extra room which was set aside as a guest room for extended family members from Malaysia was off-limits for the duration.  The furniture in the nest was rearranged to accommodate the near relative.  A schedule for the use of the washing machine and laundry area had to be arranged.  Provision of meals had to be worked out.  So on, so forth.
 
Towards the end of the duration, he mentioned that he was unable to start looking for his own house yet, and he needed to stay for another few months.  "Sure, the Lord has seen us through those months, He will definitely see us through another few months.", the Swallow thought.
 
More and more differences appeared.  She was humbled to realize that she was not as easy-going as she thought she was.  Minor differences slowly became an issue with her.  However, she quickly sought her Lord for help to overcome her sinful self, and her selfish desires to want things done in her own way.  For issues that truly meant a lot to her, she poured out her anguish to her Lord in prayer, seeking wisdom from Him before communicating with her mate to avoid putting him in a tight spot.  The Lord was good and faithful!  He helped her, again, through the next few months.
 
But the call came again, and again, and again...he needed to stay for another few months, and another, and another...the race called "The Art of Hospitality" slowly became arduous...impatience with the Lord's timing seeped in...Lord, how long more?  Bitterness, self-pity, a loss of zeal and lethargy also set in...where was the joy of the Lord?

"Lord, help me please!  You are faithful, and I am faithless.  I feel overwhelmed in these trials I am going through.  I know I must not be selfish with the things You have blessed me with, but it is so difficult to hold these things in open palms.  Lord, help me to trust You to see me through, to trust You for Your good timing.  Not mine.  You have promised to never leave me nor forsake me, and You have always kept Your promises.  I know I am not alone in this trial.  The Lord Jesus has been there before.  He will help me to face this cross just as He faced His cross, the cross which sinful men had placed on His shoulders.  I'm sorry, Lord, for trying to be in control.  You are the Sovereign Lord, the Only One who should be in control.  Not me."  These were constant cries made throughout the two years.
 
For each time she put self on the throne of her heart, there was anguish, but for each time she sought the Lord, in prayer or through the reading of His Word, and placed Him on the throne of her heart, she was refreshed.  It became a cycle of impatience and trust.
 
The near relative has finally found his own home.  The nest is back to normal.  Looking back, the Swallow is grateful for the Lord God's provision of strength to hold on, to press on, to continue in the race and not to give up.  Though she tripped many times in the race that was set before her, He lifted her up again and again, never giving up on her.

The Lord God had never failed her, and He will never ever fail her. His ways are not her ways. Testing and trials are not without pain or anguish, but they are allowed to beset the Swallow so that she can be transformed to be more and more like the Lord Jesus Christ, who had His own cross to face and bear.  As He had provided the Lord Jesus Christ with a Simon of Cyrene to help bear the cross along the Via Dolorosa, He had always provided the Swallow with a few 'Simon of Cyrene' during those difficult days.  May His name be praised!

One Day At a Time

Life's journey is all about phases.

The Swallow is not exempted...
- as a student struggling to learn the Malay language when only English was widely used at home.
- as a new Christian teenager dealing with growing pains.
- as a young adult entering the workforce away from her family and native country.
- as an adult finding love without compromising herself and her beliefs.
- as a new wife seeking intimacy with her mate, and seeking to grow together in their joint walk with her Lord and her God.
- as a young mother bringing up her young ones with her mate, seeking godly ways of parenting from the Word of God and from like-minded parents.

Growing older, there will be new phases in her life...
- mid-life.
- dealing with 'letting go' of her young ones.
- coping with a near-empty nest.
- deteriorating health.
- loss of family and friends.

The Lord God had always been a source of strength for the Swallow.  When the going was tough.  When the days were days of "just coping".  When all she could do was cry out her frustrations to her Lord.  When the sinful self reared its ugly head, demanding that its needs be met.  Asked by one of her readers to explain the gaps in her blog posts, the Swallow could only say, "These were the days of struggle."  Yet, the Lord God saw her through, one day at a time.  He was faithful, though she was faithless at times.

Isaiah 40 : 28 - 31 (NKJV)
Have you not known?  Have you not heard?  The everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary, His understanding is unsearchable.  He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.  Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Going into the new phases in her life, she will continue to trust in her Lord, the One who is neither faints nor is weary.  He was faithful, and He will remain faithful.  Great is His faithfulness!

Playdough

When the Swallow's young ones were younger, they love to play with Plasticine, a soft modelling material which could be bought from craft shops or stationery stores. However, the Swallow felt it was not cost-effective to use this material as it hardened quickly if not used often after it has been opened. Thus, when she came across this Playdough recipe, it was a welcomed relief. Although this recipe does not last long either, the cost of the ingredients was only a fraction of the cost for the Plasticine.

PLAYDOUGH

Ingredients

• 1 cup flour
• 1 cup boiling water
• 2 tbsp cream of tartar
• 1/2 cup salt
• 1 tbsp oil
• food colouring

Method

1. In a large bowl, combine everything together and mix well with a wooden spoon. A ball of soft dough will slowly form. 
2. When the soft dough if warm to the touch, continue kneading by hand until dough is no longer sticky.
3. Store in an air-tight container when not in use.

Improving Communication in Marriage

What is real communication?

To communicate means to overcome the desire to conceal feelings and thoughts which lead to honesty of expression.  -- Henry Brandt

A study was done by Gallup Public Opinion Poll, and this was the finding - A couple's ability to communicate is the single most important contributing factor to a stable and satisfying relationship.  The quality of relationships among couples with excellent communication is strikingly better than those with less satisfactory communication.  (source : O J Gibson's Better Homes & Marriages).

The conclusions from these two parties seem to be that the level of trust in a relationship appears closely tied to the couple's ability to communicate, and that real communication is more than a dialogue consisting of merely words and responses between people.

In the fourth session of "Better Homes & Marriages with the 5 Love Languages", the moderator described communication in this way - A person (the sender) transmit a message to another person (the receiver).  However, this message may be sent on a frequency that's different from the receiver's.  There may also be noises, both internal and external, which may cloud the message.  The sender's and the receiver's feelings play a part in this transmission as well.  When the message has been sent, the receiver has to sieve through all these to decipher the actual meaning.

So how does one improve communication, not just in a marriage but in general as well?

Some of the tips given were...

• Listen for emotional overtones which may reveal hurt, anger, bitterness, frustration or discouragement.
• Clarify instead of jumping into conclusions (more often than not, they are wrong conclusions).  If attacked verbally, don't be quick to go on the defence or the offence.
• Don't tune out even if it may be something that has been said before.  No selective listening and don't let the mind wander.
• No sarcasm.
• If one is naturally quiet, make a point to contribute to the conversation.  If not, give others a chance to talk too.
• Do not interrupt.
• Learn to discuss rather than argue.

Looking at the above tips, there is little wonder that communication is an art...