One Flesh or Two Individuals?

The first part of the first session of "Better Homes & Marriages with the 5 Love Languages" touched on the issue of being 'one flesh'.  What does this mean?  What does the Word of God say about this?  Do the two individuals that come together in marriage lose their identity?

The course's moderator started the session going with this question "What comes to mind when the word 'family' is mentioned?".  Answers like unity, love, support, belonging, were thrown back.  Yes, a family encompasses all these, and a family is needed for survival.  That was the Lord God's idea of a family.

Genesis 2 : 18 (NKJV)
And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

Genesis 2 : 24 (NKJV)
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

These two verses highlight the Lord God's intention for a marriage.  The Lord God instituted marriage to bring two individuals, a man and a woman, together to become one flesh that when others look at this relationship, they see a unit, a team, and a partnership.  These two individuals are the basis of a family.  It means even when there are no children, a family has been formed when a man and a woman come together in marriage.

However, it is so sad that nowadays, it seems to be 'normal' for a marriage to break down. The marriage is so easily given up. Almost everyday, one can read or hear about celebrities whose marriages are on the rocks. The usually-given reason is incomparable differences.  Different views on children's upbringing, relationship with parents or in-laws, and money problems may fall under this reason.  What has happened to God's intention for a marriage? What is the real cause for marriage breakdowns?

The real cause?  The Lord God has been left out of the marriage.

For a marriage to be truly successful in all dimensions, the Lord God is an essential part of the marriage. When the first priority is right, all other priorities will fall into place.

Priority is explained in the Collins English Dictionary as "most important thing that must be dealt with first" or "right to be or go before others".

In life, there are many priorities. For the baby, his priority is his mother and food (not necessarily in that order). As he grows physically, his priorities will increase to include his father, siblings and toys. Later on, there will be extended families, school and friends, then career, etc...

In a marriage, what should the husband's / wife's priorites be? The Word of God has these answers

• God and His Kingdom should be first - Matthew 6 : 33 (NKJV), "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."
• The eternal should take precedence over the temporal - 2 Corinthians 4 : 18 (NKJV), "While we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
• The spiritual should take precedence over the physical - Matthew 6 : 19 - 20 (NKJV), "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, whereoth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal."
• People should take precedence over things - Mark 8 : 36 - 37 (NKJV), "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?"

In Genesis 2 : 24, the act of leaving means to be independent of parents - geographically, emotionally, financially.  The cleaving or joining with his wife brings across a couple who is holding fast or clinging to each other.  The couple is inseparably joined together, as if they are glued or welded together, in a strong foundation that will bring them through calm waters as well as troubled waters.  'One flesh' is the mystery of marriage. It is a process of the husband completing his wife, and the wife completing her husband - physically, psychologically, emotionally, financially.

The relationship between husband and wife is to be second only to their relationship with the Lord God.  It has top priority over everything else.  As such, for one who wants to obey the Lord God, his priorities would be

1. God
2. husband / wife
3. other relationships

So where is the children's, parents', in-laws', career's, hobbies' and church ministry's place in the order of priorities?  They, based on the Word of God, would fall under 'other relationships'.  One of the Swallow's coursemates asked the question "How do we rank the priority of all those that fall under the 'other relationships' then?".  An apt question, and the answer to this question differs for everyone.  Each must seek wisdom from the Lord God to find his own answer.

In a nutshell, when one's relationship with the Lord God is right, the marriage relationship will be strong. When the husband's relationship with the Lord God is right, he will lead his family well, and love his wife in spite of her weaknesses. When the wife's relationship with the Lord God is right, she will be a comparable helper to her husband, and able to submit to his authority even when she disagrees with him.

Does one want his marriage to be a blessing in the way that the Lord God meant it to be? Does one want to change his currently-a-burden-of-a-marriage to be a marriage that is "made-in-heaven"? Then he will have to look at what his priorities are...

Better Homes & Marriages with the 5 Love Languages

A couple, with grey hair and wrinkle-lined faces, walks with their hands linked together, supporting each other as they take slow steps along the path.  Occasionally, one of them makes a remark and it is returned with a loving glance and a touch of a smile.  Back at their home, they converse together on topics close to their heart.  At each moment, one can witness the love, comfort, companionship and joy that they share together.

Just a dream?  A fairy tale?  Something one may watch in a movie?  In a world that is filled with so much news of celebrity couples going through a divorce or a time of separation, it would seem that the above scenario is just that - a make-believe scenario.  Yet, with trust in her Lord God, this is the future that the Swallow hopes to realise, if the Lord God so blesses her and her mate with a long life together.

With this hope for the future, the Swallow is willing to learn - from the Word of God, from others or from books written by like-minded authors.  Videos, when useful and available, is also a welcomed resource.  So it was a delight for the Swallow when she heard that her mate had enrolled them, early this month, in a course called "Better Homes & Marriages with the 5 Love Languages", organised by their local church.

The condensed course, of eight sessions, has two parts for each session.  The first part would be spent discussing some of the views raised by Jean Gibson (aka O J Gibson) in his book "Better Homes and Marriages" while the second part would be spent viewing a series of video clips from Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages".

Topics covered under "Better Homes and Marriages" are

• One flesh or two individuals?
• Understanding genuine love in marriage
• Overcoming selfishness in the marriage relationship
• Improving communication in marriage
• Three principles for getting along
• Reducing arguments and misunderstandings
• Resolving problems and frustrations
• Understanding areas of sexual differences
• Understanding the husband's biblical role
• Understanding the wife's biblical role
• Developing a spiritual life together
• Improving social time together
• Planning to grow in your marriage

Topics covered under "The Five Love Languages" are

• Learning to speak love languages
• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch
• Growing in love

Leadership in the Family

Moderated by the same leader of the previous session, this session concluded the course on "Biblical Principles for Leading with Love".  As the course concluded, the question of "How can these past lessons on leadership be applied in the context of a family?" was asked.

As in all other areas of life, there will be a leader in the context of a family.  Based on the biblical principles on headship, this leader in the family should be the husband and he is to be assisted by a loving, gentle and submissive wife with the wisdom that the Lord God gives.

The following verses summarise what God's perfect plan for the family is...

Ephesians 5 : 25 (NIV)
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

Ephesians 5 : 22 - 24 (NIV)
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Saviour.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 6 : 1 - 3 (NIV)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  "Honour your father and mother" - which is the first commandment with a promise - "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

It was noted, however, that in most families nowadays, the leadership has been given over to the wife or the children.  It is said, "The husband makes the general decisions while the wife makes the major decisions." (note: in an army organisation, the general is of a higher rank than the major).  Is this a good thing?

A look at the two well-known examples will give some answers to this question

• Adam and Eve - Adam did not stand up to his wife's foolishness in taking the fruit that God had commanded them not to take (Genesis 3 : 6).  The result?  Mankind was separated from God.
• Abraham and Sarah - instead of leading his family in waiting patiently for God's promise of a son, for him and Sarah, to be fulfilled, Abraham heeded Sarah's voice (Gen 16 : 2).  The result?  Enmity between the house of Ishmael and the house of Isaac, even until today.

So, how should a husband lead?  How can the wife submit, especially when the husband does not seem to be leading?  More questions need to be asked before the answers can be found.

One such question is "Who is the central figure of one's life?".  For the Swallow and her coursemates, it would be the Lord Jesus Christ.  Their decision to lead or to submit, depending on whether they are the husband or the wife, would be based on the Word of God, and by following the perfect example of the Lord Jesus Christ, who lead His followers with love, but also submitted Himself to His Father's authority as He had said in Luke 22 : 42 (NKJV), "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."

"The degree of our spiritual ability in Christ-likeness is measured by God as to how we respond to the leading of God in every aspect in life in comparison to how Christ, being perfect, would respond, if He was to act in our place."

1 John 2 : 6 (NIV)
Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.

The next question to ask is "How does one view God?".  If one views God as a God of fear, then he will likely instill fear in his followers, thus becoming an authoritative leader.  If one views God as a God of love, more often than not he will show love towards his followers at the expense of discipline, thus becoming a permissive leader.

However, based on the Word of God, the Lord God is both a God of fear and a God of love.  His authority is a perfect blend of fear (law, discipline) and love.  So the one who chooses to follow the Lord God must find a balance between the two, neither an authoritative nor a permissive leader.

"The degree that we respond to God to learn and implement His way and truth depends upon our answer."

Coming back to the family, so how should the husband lead? How can the wife submit, especially when the husband does not seem to be leading?  Looking at 1Peter 3 : 7 (NKJV), "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.", the following traits of Godly leadership in the family can be seen

• submissive leadership ("likewise") - this is the sacrificial kind of love which is also mentioned in Ephesians 5 : 25.  It is also called servant leadership.
• committed companionship ("dwell with them") - it is a committed relationship ie no divorce, and a companionship until "death do us part".  Also, this husband and wife relationship must be above any other relationship save their individual relationship with God.  Nothing should come between them.  Not children.  Not career.  Not hobbies.
• intelligent leadership ("with understanding") - to have knowledge of one's wife (needs, desires, strengths, weaknesses) and knowledge based on God's word (wives as the weaker vessel).
• honouring love ("giving honour to the wife") - this goes hand in hand with a submissive / servant leadership.
• unbroken fellowship ("that your prayers may not be hindered") - when one is obeying God as a leader, his spiritual leadership and his relationship with God will not be affected.

The Swallow is reminded that her mate's role as a leader in the family is not easy.  Neither is it enviable.  He has to bear the consequences of the decisions made within the family, whether wise or foolish decisions.  It is certainly not a role that the Swallow is anxious to take over.

However, being a submissive wife is not a role that the Swallow finds easy to take either.  Many a times, when her mate made certain decisions which the Swallow was not comfortable with, her natural reaction was to override her mate's decision there and then.  Only with the Lord God's help could she bite her tongue, go to Him in prayer, seek His wisdom, then discuss the decision with her mate in a calm and non-confrontational manner.

No, it is not an easy task, whether as a submissive-wife-helper or as a loving-husband-leader.  It is only by a daily dependence on the Lord God - on His grace, mercies, strength, wisdom, and whatever else that is needful and which He alone can provide - that the Swallow and her mate can press on to fulfill their roles and responsibilities in the family.

A Cry for Help

Not one to spend a lot of time reading the newspapers, the headlines "Cheers and tears as dramatic rescue unfolds" in yesterday's local newspapers grabbed the Swallow's attention, and she read the news about the efforts that were made to rescue thirty-three miners who were trapped deep underground in Chile.

In relatively-safe-from-natural-disasters Singapore, the Swallow may not have to bear what the miners' wives and families are bearing, yet the Swallow can imagine the horror of having a loved one trapped when natural disasters befall a country - in the raging waters when a tsunami hits, in the cold mountains when there is an avalanche, or in this case, in the deep and dark underground for more than a month.  Tears ran down the Swallow's face when she read all these stories.  There was a connection.  What if one of these men was her mate, or her young one?

Of course the Swallow hopes not to experience the torture of not knowing whether her mate or her young one will be brought out alive from the depths of the ocean, or from the bowels of the earth.  Yet life is full of the unexpected because sin abounds - the careless driver on the road, the faulty mechanism of the aeroplane or other vehicles, or an object thrown down from a high-rise building.  Pain, sorrow, tears and death cannot be avoided.

However, at times like these, the Swallow can continue to cling on to her Lord God and the promises in His word...

Revelations 21 : 1 (NIV)
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.

Revelations 21 : 3 - 4 (NIV)
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them.  They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

PART THE WATERS (author unknown)

When I think I'm going under, "Part the waters, Lord."
When I feel the waves around me, "Calm the sea."
When I cry for help, "O hear me Lord, and hold out Your hand,
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me."

Knowing You love me
Helps me face another day
Hearing Your footsteps
Drives the clouds of fears away
And in the night of my life
You bring the promise of day
Here is my hand, show me the way...

When I think I'm going under, "Part the waters, Lord."
When I feel the waves around me, "Calm the sea."
When I cry for help, "O hear me Lord, and hold out Your hand,
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me."

Knowing You love me
Through the burdens I must bear
Hearing Your footsteps
Lets me know I'm in Your care
And in the tears of my life
I see the sorrow You bore
Here is my pain, heal it once more...

When I think I'm going under, "Part the waters, Lord."
When I feel the waves around me, "Calm the sea."
When I cry for help, "O hear me Lord, and hold out Your hand,
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me.
Touch my life, still the raging storm in me."

Yes, with her life in the hands of her sovereign Lord, her tears will be but for a moment.

No Looking Back

The Swallow was born in the city, in a little-known part of the world called Malaysia.  Soon after her family moved their home to a new locality, she was allowed to attend a Sunday School which was within walking distance.

Sunday after Sunday, she heard many stories from the Bible.  Most of the stories centred around a man called Jesus Christ.  After the stories, the teachers would ask the children to memorise a Bible verse.  The following week, the Swallow would recite the verse and when it was done correctly, she would be given a sticker.  The Swallow strived to learnt the verse well as the sticker seemed like a badge of honour, and she would display the sticker proudly to her siblings who were not allowed to attend the Sunday School then.

She learnt many songs and choruses that told of God and His love, and that also mentioned the man Jesus Christ.  She soon learnt that Jesus Christ was not only a man, but He was God too.  She learnt that because of the naughty things she does, she could not go to heaven.  Now the Swallow was an active child and was constantly getting into trouble with her parents and teachers.  As far as she could understand, she wanted to go to heaven and if believing in Jesus Christ would bring her to heaven, she would believe in Him then.

When circumstances were tough, the Swallow found herself singing many of these songs and choruses.  Memory verses would also be brought to mind whenever she felt sad, alone and afraid.  One such occasion came when she and her siblings stayed with her popo for a few nights.  She and her siblings would sleep in the hall as the house was small.  There were many idols in her popo's hall, and on the first night, the look of the idols caused the Swallow to fear closing her eyes.   The loud ticking of the clock in the hall, coupled with her wild imagination, made her uneasy too.  She was unable to sleep although her siblings were sleeping soundly.  It was then that she remembered a chorus she had been singing often in Sunday School...

JESUS LOVES ME (author unknown)

Jesus loves me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.

In her little heart, she cried out to the Lord Jesus.  She asked Him to please take away her fears and let her be able to sleep.  Sleep came quickly then, and for the next few nights at her popo's house, the Swallow no longer tossed and turned in bed.  Each night, she asked the Lord Jesus to help her.  That was the start of a journey towards knowing who God is, and what He has done for her.

Over the years, she learnt more about Jesus Christ the Son of God, and the Lord God His Father.  Each time when she felt she had been extra naughty, she would again ask the Lord Jesus to help her to be good.  She wanted to go to heaven very much.  In her final year of primary school, she finally understood what belief in the Lord Jesus Christ was really about, and she trusted Him completely as her Saviour, Lord and King.

No, it did not mean that the Swallow was not naughty anymore.  It simply meant that when she did wrong and asked the Lord God to forgive her, she is forgiven because of Jesus' death on the cross.  The Bible says in Romans 6 : 23 (NIV), "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Jesus has paid that price when He, as the perfect Lamb of God, died on the cross for men's sins.  The Swallow's past sins, present sins and future sins have all been forgiven.  She is righteous not because of her own works (that will fail time and time she does wrong), but because of the perfect sacrifice that Jesus made, once and for all.

As she grew physically, she experienced God's love constantly in her life and this caused her love for Him to grow.  Her faith and trust in Him also grew.

When the Swallow was led to start a new life in Singapore, it was with a bit of trepidation, but with a giant leap of faith too in her Lord God, who became even more real to her. She saw His hand of blessing in the life she was called to.  It is the Swallow's greatest desire that in all things, she will glorify and honour Him.

Philippians 3 : 14 (NKJV)
I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

HE'S MY LIFE, HE'S MY LIGHT (author unknown)

He's my Life, He's my Light
He fills me with delight
Jesus Christ is my Saviour
And I trust in His might
He's my King
Everything
I have is His own
When I'm living for Jesus alone!

No, there is no looking back.  The Swallow can now only look forward to the day when the Lord Jesus Christ comes again for her.  And while waiting for His return, she will strive to follow Him wherever He leads her.

Dare to Run

The Swallow is NOT a runner.  When she participated in the cross-country races held during her school-going years, her target would be just to finish the race and get the minimum one point.  She knew the top-ten runners' list would forever remain out of her reach.

How does one run a race?  The Swallow cannot speak for others, but to her, it is about her focus.  When she ran in the cross-country races, she focused on these aspects...

• the finishing line - no giving up, no matter how difficult the race
• the time - in order to get the minimum one point, she had to finish within the time limit
• the pacing - knowing her limits and keeping her breathing regular (the first time she ran, she paced herself with her friends who ran much faster, quickly found herself out of breath and although she finished the event, did not manage to do it in time and thus failed to get the minimum one point)
• the training - practice runs week after week
• the cheerleaders - those who continuously encouraged her not to give up
• the satisfaction - yes!

And not on these...

• the cuts and bruises
• the pain in her sides
• the snide laughter of some who finished much earlier

Life is a race too, isn't it?  For the world, it is called the rat race.  For the Swallow and others who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, it is the believer's race.  Though the outcome of the two races is different, yet there is a similarity in these races - what is the runner's focus?

It has always been the Swallow's goal to do her best.  At first, it was to avoid the scoldings from her parents and teachers when she did not do her best.  Later on, when she had tasted of God's love and had believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, it was with a grateful heart that she wanted to do her best, to give God the glory and honour that He deserves.

In her believer's race, it is always a constant struggle for the Swallow to do her best.  So much easier it is to just relax, not to bother, not to care.  Well, that's the sinful nature in her, wanting always to please herself instead of the Lord God.  So it is that when she has such thoughts and feelings, she has to bring her focus back on her reason for living - the Lord Jesus Christ.

In the Lord Jesus Christ, she has a Saviour - One who has gone through much more than what she has endured when He had His race to run on earth so He understands what she has in her heart.  As she is on His team, when He was victorious in His race, the Swallow too is counted as victorious.  What comfort it is to trust in One such as this!

DARE TO RUN (author unknown)

The assembly of the faithful
Surrounding yet unseen
Is gathered as a witness to the race
And on the track awaiting
Are the runners of today
The call has come for each to take his place
The road ahead is narrow
The way is sometimes steep
And only the committed claim the prize
But standing at the finish
With arms outstretched to greet us
Is the One who has endured the race
And paid the final price...

Dare to run, with our eyes fixed on Jesus
Following the footsteps of the One who's gone before us
Dare to run, with the power of His Spirit
Called to be victors in a race already won
Dare to run!

We must have our Saviour's vision, compassion for the lost
Courage for the future, love at any cost

Dare to run, with our eyes fixed on Jesus
Following the footsteps of the One who's gone before us
Dare to run, with the power of His Spirit
Called to be victors in a race already won
Dare to run
Called to be victors in a race already won
Dare to run!

Pothos Plant

The Swallow was given a Pothos (Epipremnum Aureum) plant when one of her friends made a move to the USA.  The Pothos plant is a hardy plant.  Able to withstand both sunlit and shaded conditions, the Pothos plant is a fitting plant for the Swallow, whose connection with plants is still a work-in-progress.

When the Pothos plant was first given to the Swallow, it was a thriving plant.  Coping with growing children coupled with a growing demand of her time from various directions, the Swallow did not give the plant proper care.  Although the plant did not thrive, it did not die.  All that happened was that a few leaves turned brown when it was underwatered, then when it was watered, it put out new shoots.

However, over the years, the number of leaves that grew became less and less while the number of leaves that turned brown became more and more.  When the Swallow was finally able to channel some of her time to the care of plants, she realised that the Pothos plant was a shade of its original vigour.  It was time for some drastic measures...

Out of the pot came the remaining plants.  The roots were gently but thoroughly washed in water to remove all the soil, then all the plants were placed into a crystal trophy vase, received from the Swallow's mate's office (it was going to be thrown away!), with the intention of growing the plants in water.

Growing Pothos
(the one on the right) in water

Maybe the depth was too much, or maybe the plants had gone into a state of shock, but the Pothos plants started to drop their leaves.  Looking miserable in the now-too-huge-a-container, the Swallow decided to restart the planting experience with a smaller container.

As mentioned in a previous post, the Pothos plants are still around to this day, maybe a shade of its original glory, but on its way (hopefully) to recovery.

The Swallow hopes that in life, she will be as hardy as the Pothos plant, able to withstand some hardships and coming out stronger, and she will - for her faith and trust is in the One who is a far better caregiver, One who will always be there for her.

Mentoring & Discipleship

In the seventh session of "Biblical Principles for Leading with Love", the issues of mentoring and discipleship were discussed.  Mentoring is part of the fabric of life.  It is not limited to the Christian circle as there are many ideas which can be found in, and also widely used by the secular side.  However, as Christians, the Swallow and her coursemates looked at and discussed mentoring from the Christian context.

For the Christian, mentoring and discipleship can be said as having two sides of a coin.  They go hand in hand.  When mentoring is actively practiced, strong disciples are made.  When it is passively practiced, disciples are still made but these may be weak.  The ratio for mentor and disciple is also not fixed, as there are often times when one person may be under the guidance of several mentors.

For a vibrant Christian mentor-disciple relationship, the following components are needed

• dynamic - it has to be an active and growing relationship where both parties are flexible and stimulates each other so that it empowers not only the disciple but the mentor as well
• intentional - there must be purpose and direction to the process of mentoring ie it has to be done in an orderly manner and not when one feels like it
• relationship - it is a relationship, where the mentor and the disciple become partners and spiritual mates for a brief period of time, anything from 3 months to 3 years (in some cases, even longer)
• trust - this is the key and the basis of the relationship where the disciple relies on, and puts his confidence in his mentor and vice versa
• enables - when done correctly, the process of mentoring enables the disciple to move on, and make possible a vibrant relationship with the Lord God
• maximise - this is where the disciple's skills and gifts are made the most of, for the glory of God
• grace of God - without this, one can do nothing.

Ecclesiastes 4 : 9 - 12 (NIV)
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up, but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Although the above verses are often used in messages presented at Christian weddings, the verses are also relevant to the mentor-disciple relationship.  A Christ-centred mentor-disciple relationship will thrive, and both parties will emerge stronger in their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

In essence, the process of mentoring in the Christian context is actually under-mentoring.  As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11 : 1 (NKJV), "Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ."

It is true.  The Lord Jesus was and is the prime model of mentoring. While He was on earth, He was the perfect example for the twelve chosen disciples and the many others who also followed Him.  He was involved with people.  He was always available.  There were times, recorded in the Bible, when He went away to be alone yet when people sought Him out, He never rejected them.  His character was blameless and pure.

In His teaching, the Lord Jesus spoke with authority, and He spoke plainly. Imagine, children and fishermen counted as His followers! His words brought life and hope to all who heard Him.  He was patient with His disciples when they could not understand Him.  However, He also spoke with truth.  He never compromised the truth. There were many occasions recorded in the Bible where the Jewish leaders and temple authorities were offended by Him.  Also, when the disciples spoke or did wrongly, He corrected them gently but firmly.

The Lord Jesus had compassion on those who followed Him. He fed them when they were hungry, with spiritual food as well as physical. He caused them to think and wonder about His deeds and the miracles He performed.

The Lord Jesus committed His ways, in prayer, to His heavenly Father.  He stayed focused at all times, even when the cross and death was before Him.  He forgave, and also asked His heavenly Father to forgive, those who put Him on the cross.  He died for these as well.  He changed the course of history.

Mentoring should not be a life-long process.  The ultimate goal for the mentor is to help his disciple grow in his relationship with the one true God, and taking responsibility for himself.

We all blossom in the presence of one who sees the good in us and who can coax the best out of us. -- Rev Desmond Tutu

Bearing Fruit

Chilli Plant has borne fruit

Having been unsuccessful in her previous attempt in growing chillies from seed, the Swallow wanted to try again and she did so in October last year.  The start of her experiment as well as the transplanting of the plants are mentioned in her post "Chilli Plant Experiment".  The little chilli plants were placed indoors, at a well-lit-by-afternoon-sun location.

The Swallow was away for almost two weeks in June this year, attending a camp with her local church in Malaysia then dropping in to visit her parents and siblings on the way back to Singapore.  On her return, one of the first few things she did was to check on her plants.  How did they fare?  Did some of them die while she was away?  She had done what she could to keep them alive, but did these actions worked?

It was with a bit of trepidation when she checked on her plants, but these feelings of fear and anxiety were soon replaced with feelings of much joy when she saw that not only were they still alive, but two of the plants had borne fruit!

Harvest time is coming!

There was more joy when the fruit-bearing did not stop.  There are four chillies borne todate.  One has been eaten (so delicious!), one is turning red and two are growing longer.

Ripe Chilli

How does one describe a joy like that?  Is the joy similar to that feeling felt by a parent who has loved, cared for and trained his naughty young one, then sees his young one grow 'in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men'?  Is it similar to that feeling felt by a parent who releases the strings of authority on his young one slowly, then sees his young one willingly place himself under God's authority?  Or is it similar to that feeling felt by a parent who, after all the training and when the young one has shown that he can be responsible, lets his young one go then sees his young one continue on to be more and more responsible?  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!

Likewise, there will be much joy in heaven when the Heavenly Father sees His children bearing fruit.

Jesus said in John 15 : 8 (NKJV), "By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so that you will be My disciples".

A Young One's Attempt to Make His Favourite Cupcakes

Chocolate Chip Cupcakes